Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

Off The Wall Essays From Deep Within A Capricious Mind

Walk of Life

Not that I’m complaining, but post-angioplasty I’m unable to drive my car*** for a week. A situation I deem as a mere minor inconvenience, hopefully contributing to a calmer, more reflective lifestyle, which of late has burgeoned with significantly more drama than I’d prefer. The GJ Strachan soap opera current plot lines proving quite a challenge to the scene’s main protagonists.

*** – I’m unsure why I felt the need to specify the word car within that inaugural sentence. After all, I’m actually unable to take the wheel of any automobile for seven days…… That is, apart from a tractor! A bizarre exception to the edict which, thankfully, allows me to plough the current harvest from my arable fields….. I’ve not got any agricultural land, but it’s a great comfort to know I’d not be completely hamstrung if I did! 

To clarify, the GJ Strachan soap opera is a daily dose of life predominantly set in West Yorkshire medical establishments. As the action unfolds it’s discerning viewer witnesses a wide range of everyday emotions – It’s plots crammed with melancholy, anger, love and romance. Along with existential conundrums such as how the hell to utilise bathroom door locking mechanism on cubicles designed for those with special needs.

The drama treating the public to the trials and tribulations of a middle-aged man; mostly played out amongst the hallowed halls and corridors of a West Yorkshire city’s hospitals. Ground-breaking melodrama, which includes a storyline of the everyday trauma received from trying to locate a functional hand sanitising unit. Not forgetting the occasion a temperamental ECG machine controversially audio alerted by ping instead of beep.

Week commencing 12th August 2019 ,in particular, proving to be a fertile week for GJ Strachan’s hospital yarns. Since last Monday, the following times have been spent either as a patient of carer:-  Twelve hours in A&E at Pinderfields Hospital, Wakefield on 12th August; an hour and a half at the Oncological Unit St James Hospital, Leeds on 13th August; and yesterday nine hours at the Take Heart Suite at the Leeds General Infirmary.

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Anyhow, my seven day driving ban will hopefully bring with it a much needed serenity and lack of incident into my life. My aspirations for the coming week are to mainly relax, partake in small recuperative walks, watch a bit of sport and catch up with some old favourites on DVD.

Even if I wanted to venture further afield while motor vehicle bereft, my travel options are fairly limited. As much as I like the West Yorkshire village of East Ardsley, where I’m currently in situ, it strikes me that the local area’s public transport links are twinned with Mongolia…… In fact you can probably get more buses into Leeds per hour from the Mongolian capital Ulaanbaater than you can from Chapel Street in East Ardsley.

In a way, I’m quite pleased to escape being shackled at the steering wheel for a few days. During the last month, or so, I’ve spent a great deal more time in the driver’s seat than’s probably healthy. Over 2,000 miles of recreational driving in a short period of time, especially when not feeling 100%, was possibly a foolish undertaking on my part….. That being mentioned, I’d some great times on those travels, so don’t regret one moment of those odysseys.

Anyone affected by any of the subjects broached in ‘GJ Strachan – The Soap Opera’ can speak confidentially to a member of our Support Hotline……. Or could if it existed!

Categories: Blogs, fiction, health/medical, humour, parody

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