Re-Assuring Signs

I commenced writing today’s essay around half an hour after exiting a Leeds General Infirmary (LGI) theatre where, for the previous hour and a half, I’d undergone both an angiogram and angioplasty.

For the uninitiated, my understanding is that the angiogram is an investigative procedure to seek any cardio/vascular blood flow issues. An angioplasty is the undertaking of remedial work identified by the angiogram.

As you’ll not be surprised to hear, this was written while in a tired post-operation state; Both through the early start to attend my outpatient appointment at 8am, along with enhanced fatigue through the blood loss encountered during this procedure.

After a few darkish narratives of late, along with a determination not to be melancholic after the angioplasty, yours truly was determined to include a more whimsical element in today’s monologue. Consequently, I present an unashamedly silly blog about today’s op; a self-indulgent distraction to recent darker events.

For those who disapprove of this inanity, the drugs made me do it!!!…… Stick with it though as, if interested, the outcome of the procedure receives a brief airing towards the narratives conclusion;-

As I commence this narrative, I’m sitting in a post-op recovery room in the Take Heart Suite at the Leeds General Infirmary (LGI). A current locale I can relay with the surety of a man sat in an armchair beneath a sign reading ‘Take Heart Suite Recover Room’.

Reassuring information bestowing confidence that during my recent angioplasty I wasn’t somehow transported to the city of Nottingham***, around 75 miles south of this West Yorkshire medical establishment.

*** – Other provincial northern English town are available.

I’ve nothing against the Nottinghamshire metropolis per sa. However, if post-op I’d now be sitting beneath a notice advising I was situated in Nottingham’s Queen Medical Centre  (QMC) recovery room, getting home would’ve been a right Royal real pain in the ass……. As I was awake throughout the whole procedure, witnessing that sign would’ve also seriously messed with my mind as to how I got there!! 

With an extra 150 miles round trip to the QMC, I certainly can’t picture my son Jonny being as enamoured about picking me up from the former home of Robin Hood, as opposed to the agreed Leeds pickup. Although the latter no longer his hometown, the place of his upbringing a significantly shorter round journey for my eldest child…. Well, approximately 150 miles less to be more accurate.

Anyhow, despite the Take Heart Suite being populated with patients named Friar Tuck, Little John and Alan A.Dale, the ‘ LGI Post-Op Recover Room’ notice re-assures me I can shrug off my post-angioplasty location paranoia. 

My son Jonny has just arrived at the LGI and sits in an adjacent seat to his pater below the previously mentioned ‘LGI Post-Op Recover Room’ sign. 

“I tell you what, dad…. I’m glad I didn’t have to drive to Nottingham to pick you up!” came a surprise opening gambit from my boy as his broad shouldered frame ambled towards me.

“Why on earth would you have to pick me up in Nottingham?” I enquired, taken aback by the coincidence between my offsprings opening submission and my earlier random notions relating to Notts.

“I don’t know!…… Maybe if mid-angiogram you’d have been transported to the city of Nottingham.” My son and heir proffered.

“Would you have picked me up if, for example, during my angiogram I was somehow transported to the city of Nottingham?” I inquired hypothetically.

“Would I b*ll*cks!!…….. There’s no way I’d drive an extra 150 mile round trip to makeup for your portal transport neglect!”  Blustered my boy in a patronising and confrontational manner which, although disparaging, I couldn’t help but admire.

Anyhow, to return to the initial topic of this narrative, my one and a half hour angiogram/angioplasty concluded at around 10.30am this morning. 

As I sit here below the ‘LGI Post-Op Recover Room’ sign, I’m heartened (excuse the pun) with initial post-op feedback that the procedure undertaken has improved my arterial blood flow…….. If that details had been the medical team who carried out the cardio procedure, instead of a Take Heart Suite patient awaiting a pacemaker fitting, I’d had been even more delighted!