Eulogy To Deano

I wrote a significant amount of the attached narrative last week as a tribute to a pooch with who I’d forged a strong bond since arriving into my life on his mother’s shirttails around a year ago.

Due to an amalgam of time restraints, other more pressing issues and author uncertainty around the prose, I’ve not had the opportunity to publish this reverential vignette until now. So hold onto your socks and hose as I present you with observations about a little fella who, in the relatively short time I knew him, added so much to my brio levels.

After the passing of my partner Sarah’s eldest dog Deano, yesterday proved a melancholic affair within the chambers of chez Strachan and casa Brook. Due to underlying health issues which were blighting, and would continue to impact, his physical and mental wellbeing the difficult decision to put the little Lhasa apso ‘to sleep’ was taken.

After days of turmoil for my Ossett squeeze over this unavoidable choice, Sarah and me finally took the wee fella to his stark life denouement at 9am. Despite the consensus of opinion from her family, me and the vet that she’d chosen the right option to avoid Deano’s continued suffering, Sazza remained (and remains) torn whether an end of life path was appropriate.

It’s gotta be said, yours truly didn’t envy the West Yorkshire lass’ plight at determining Deano’s future fate. After all, he’d been part of her family for 14 years; which I’m told is the equivalent of 198 years old in dog years. Although the guy who told me that questionable fact, Eddie ‘Yes It Really Is 15 inches’ Gregson, is prone to exaggerate…Consequently, I’d take his dog to human years ratio guide with a pinch of salt.

Footnote – Eddie ‘Yes It Really Is 15 inches’ Gregson is a fictional name included to add a tad of lightness to this grim narrative….. I’m sure Deano would approve…… If you are called Eddie ‘Yes It Really Is 15 inches’ Gregson and wish to register a complaint or enter into litigation, all I can conclude is that some people are never bloody happy with their lot!

Anyhow, apologies for transitioning this essay’s prose into the piss poor fare ordinarily heard in ‘Carry On’ films. Back to my Deano tribute. A warts and all story about …. errrrr…well, warts… and errrrr lots of other things.

Incidentally, now I’ve broached the topic, Deano did have quite a lot of dog warts, especially in his dotage… For the uninitiated, dog warts shouldn’t to be mistaken for Hogwarts; I’m assured Harry Potter’s alma mater has little association with this unaesthetic dermatological complaint…… Although the guy who relayed this questionable hooey was also Eddie ‘Yes It Really Is 15 inches’ Gregson. Consequently, similar to his dog to human years guide, also take this proffering with a pinch of salt.

Sarah and me didn’t watch the vet administer the lethal dose of chemicals which ultimately took the capriciously natured, yet lovable, canine from us. We saw him briefly after the fact, this sombre event a catalyst to us comforted each other with tear filled peepers as the diminutive dog lay lifeless in the vets arms.

If truth be told, I’d never had much interest in dogs until they came kicking and screaming (well, barking) into my life in recent years through my dating of ladies who owned fur babies. Liaisons which’ve introduced me to the wonders of these furry scamps – This former pet cynic now permeating a real love of pooches through every pore… Or should that be paw?… No it’s the former, isn’t it!

When I split with my estranged wife over three years ago, I’d never have envisaged dating a beau with a dog. I used to deem them tying. Hairy pooping and eating machines who made your house smell and chewed anything you deemed valuable (or sentimental) when left home alone… Incidentally, that’s the dogs, not the beaus!!… Although, then again!!

How ill-thought out GJ Strachan’s judgement turned out. Me not only becoming a fully paid up member of the canine fan club, but also now admiring these mutts to such an extent I’d rather mix with them than humans. They’re certainly more loyal and trustworthy than large swathes of us dysfunctional bipeds.

Although a man who prides himself on being capable of finding words to express his emotions, I’m struggling to put into words just how much the loss of this little fella saddens me. The boost he and his German Shepherd ‘sister’ Zella gave my mental health whilst residing with me over the summer was immeasurable.

RIP Deano… I’ll miss you little buddy!

Deano during happy times in summer 2022

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