If The Cap Fits

This week, it’s been ‘great’ to witness Brexit re-emerge from COVID’s shadows to once again clock up several column inches. These bulletins, relating to our great nations shambolic, lie laden campaign to gain our liberty from the European Union (EU), informing our populace the ‘oven ready Brexit’ promised by our prime minister isn’t quite as oven ready as first thought.

Who’d have believed it?!…. Yes I’m taking the p***!….. So this week we’re told it’s not simply a case of putting Brexit in the microwave, awaiting the ping and opening the door to reveal a perfectly cooked departure from the EU.

Sadly, but unsurprisingly, this’s playing out more like a scene in 1997 movie Bean. This the incident where Rowan Atkinson’s character rams a huge turkey into a microwave, sets the timer and a few minutes later is showered in poultry debris following the door exploding open.

To my mind, the previous sentence plays out as a perfect metaphor for the utter shambles of this ill-conceived, flight by the seat of your pants campaign ‘masterminded’ by tortoise without a shell Dominic Cummings. The recently resigned government advisor whose legacy, in association with co-conspirators, is this aimless strategy that’ll no doubt detrimentally affect our country’s business and the economic wellbeing for years.

With COVID and the US presidential election shenanigans, I’d almost forgotten about Brexit. Out of sight was out of mind. Or perhaps I was hoping, with it not receiving bulletin airtime for a few months, the triggering of this s*** show never really happened. It’d merely been a nightmare infiltrated by Cummings, Boris Johnson and head boy Jacob Rees-Mogg.

Unfortunately, though, it wasn’t a night vision triggered by eating cheese close to bedtime. It did happen and, worse still, if the severance deal isn’t agreed, and ratified with the EU by the weekend, it appears we’ll have to leave without a deal. A scenario which a chief UK negotiator described would be a disaster for our country.

So not only will our economy be screwed by the COVID fallout, we’d have a double whammy of it being shafted by Brexiteers reigning victorious in the ‘stay or leave’ referendum…… Well, at least you’ve got your health….. Unless, of course, you haven’t.

Apologies for my curmudgeonliness this cloudy morn. Perhaps, despite my protestations to the contrary, being on my tod isn’t always the best strategy at lifting my lower moods. Ordinarily, solitude brings me a serenity, calm and focus. However, today, as my dear old mum would proffer if she’s clocked my miserable mush,”What’s wrong with you, Gary?…. You look as though you’ve seen your arse.

As I’ve not borne witnessed to my posterior, mater’s mischievous ‘go to’ quip holds no literal truth in fact. However, she’d be right in thinking I’ve had days where I’d felt higher levels of verve and vigour….. Not to mention many other words beginning with ‘v’.

Looking down to my left, the first tome catching my eye in the bookcase is pictured below….. This sums my mood today far better than any words I could bequeath.

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