Fraser’s Wisdom

As today dawned over West Yorkshire, my home city of Leeds transitioned into COVID sourced tier three lockdown. Bearing in mind there’s a full English lockdown on 5th November anyhow, this seems to me like a token and pretty pointless governmental edict.

Footnote – The full English lockdown, above, refers to Thursday’s re-establishment of stringent restrictions amongst England’s avenues and alleyways…… Not introduction of inhibiting new legislation surrounding the nation’s favourite cooked breakfast.

The edicts, coming into play on Thursday, a necessary evil aimed at stemming the ever swifter stream of coronavirus cases. For the UK’s largest country, it’s a case of ‘No pain, no gain.” This positing worthy of the label cliche, not to mention unavoidable.

As I write, yours truly is eating his way through some of the Haribo gummy bears procured prior to Halloween, in the event trick or treaters tarried to chez Strachan’s.

Under coronaviruses watch, though the doorbell remained unbothered for the evening’s duration. Consequently, GJ Strachan remains in possession of several small bags of these, his favourite, sweets….. At last, something remotely positive to come from this stark existence on Planet COVID.

Like my brother Ian and our late father, I’m a big fan of this form of gelatine candy. In our teens, like many of our team mates, our kid and I would load our cricket trouser pockets with sweets of this kind prior to going out to field.

This confectionery bounty proving invaluable when a sugar sourced energy rush was required; while toiling to dismiss our Durham Senior League opponents. Hot summer days, succeeded by manic sugar infused nights.

That being said, like Augustus Gloop coming a cropper while foraging through Willy Wonkas Chocolate Factory, the gluttony of troughing all these gelatine bears could have a down side.

For instance, stuffing a handful of the candy into your gob immediately prior to delivering the ball towards the batsman, it could impact the bowlers ability for a timely appeal for an opponents dismissal.

Attempting to shout “Howzat!” when your teeth are glued together by ten gummy bears is harder than you imagine….. Unless, of course, you imagine it’ll be incredibly difficult, in which case …… erm….. it won’t be!

Tomorrow ‘welcomes’ the US Presidential Election Day. An event which, if the campaigning has anything to go by, will be a shameful episode. A scene underpinned by skullduggery, relentless lies, narcissism, intimidation, and the least presidential-like behaviour you’ll ever get to see on a US election day.

The landscape painted by the classless, spiteful, unStatesman like, clueless, self-centred displays from the red corner bringing into question that nation’s democratic processes.

It’s truly sad to witness how low Western society has plummeted. It seems in contemporary times, being bereft of policy and objective argument isn’t a barrier to being voted as leader of the (supposed) free world.

Add to that a toxic brew of constant lying, open racism, shameful divisiveness, misogynistic behaviour and only seemingly interested in red states. What the actual f*** is happening to this world?!

I’m not prepared to disclose who I’d vote for if I was an American citizen. However, should President Trump secure a second term, Private Fraser from TV comedy ‘Dad’s Army’ has the following warning for our US cousins:-

Leave a Reply