I’m slightly fatigued as this chilly late Sunday afternoon drifts seamlessly into evening. A lethargy which manifests notions of surprise at how daily itineraries bereft of activity can diminish one’s energy levels to this level.

Anyhow, as an aside, I got to speak to both my siblings today. Mercifully, they and their broods are keeping well; the pair seemingly in reasonable spirits despite lockdown. Re-assuring gambits when reconciled against the scale of loss and grief COVID-19 has imparted upon less serendipitous families.

My brother Ian and sister Helen are both people of strong principle, great humanity and an indifference to right of centre political ideologies. Consequently, placing a much greater store on the topic of parliamentary shenanigans than their elder brother. Their’s a far loftier soapbox than yours truly, who’s utterly indifferent about pinning my colours to any political mast.

Ringing from their respective homes at Gateshead and Macclesfield, this morning my left leaning siblings dogmatic approach to our political landscape led to a fleeting telephony tete a tete with mother.

During these phone conversations, Ian and Helen incurring the matriarchal wrath after informing her they’d no intention of watching PM Boris Johnson’s 7pm lockdown update because, and I’m paraphrasing here, he’s an inept buffoon!….. Observations which led to my brother receiving the broadside “I’m absolutely disgusted children of mine could think that way!”

To add a little flesh to the narrative bones at this juncture I want to point out the old lady, despite being very much the product of a working class upbringing, preaches at the church of the Daily Express. Choosing to adopt the indoctrinations of her daily right wing propaganda newspaper, rather than countenance any rabble rousing from her “misguided commie” offspring.

With this in mind, mum was less than impressed at our Ian and Helen’s criticism of a man who’d just “…..bravely recovered from coronavirus, and has just become father to a baby boy.”

In a rare move, I decided to stay out of both partisanship debates. By doing so missing an opportunity to stir the s**t pot by enquiring of Maggie where her old school moral compass sat with Johnson having a child out of wedlock. A babe in arms who I believe was conceived while Boris was still technically married to a since divorced wife.

Yours truly also choosing not press Maggie’s “He’s a nice man” viewpoint by withholding enquiries into her thoughts on old Bozza having a least six children with various woman (some with previous spouses, at least one not).

As is her right in a democracy, mother invests great faith in Daily Express indoctrinations. Personally, though, to me it’s a rag which when not rattling on negatively about immigrants and obsessing about Princess Diana’s death 23 years ago, spouts negatively about immigrants and obsesses about Princess Diana’s death 23 years ago.

To my mind, this tabloid journal is one of many newspapers I wouldn’t wipe my arse on, even in these times of toilet roll panic buying. Notions which’ve led to me not buying a newspaper for many years; preferring instead to acquire my news fix from more reliable online channels, such as sesamestreet.com, or the Dogs Trust website.

Whenever I think of tabloid journalists it evokes thoughts of 1980’s TV show Spitting Image’s portrayal of these guttersnipes as pigs. Penman who’re more interested in split beavers than taking care not to split infinitives!…. A harsh assessment I know, but when looking to feed the prurient end of the newspaper buying market sadly it’s a given?!

When your audience are more bothered about who’s shagging who, Love Island contestants, not to mention if Diana was wearing a seatbelt that fateful night over two decades ago, how can you countenance any hope of receiving newsworthy and insightful journalist output.

Anyhow, rant over!!

iu-5
Oink!!