Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

Off The Wall Essays From Deep Within A Capricious Mind

Twitter Ye Not

In today’s earlier blog Order of Service I concluded the piece with a tongue in cheek reference to thoughts surrounding the future evolution possibilities of hybrid fuel cars. In particular, the unlikely fitting of a chimney to vehicles, giving the automobile’s owner further options to power their motors via petrol (or diesel), electric and coal.

Writing this mornings narrative evoked memories of an interesting tale I read on Twitter a few years ago……… Well, as interesting as a story bearing a maximum of 140 characters could be anyhow!

This yarn revolved around a woman’s named Barbara’s bizarre experience during a lengthy car journey whilst listening to an audio book. A factual tale I witnessed on my Twitter timeline; a social media story which I’ve unashamedly embellished with non-factual enhancements is an attempt to improve the creative wherewithal of the narrative.

I believe in the ‘writing game’ this use of fiction is referred to as artistic licence. In my case, this licence a gratis gift of entertainment to my reader; unlike the TV licence which annually costs viewers £154.50 for access to the British Broadcasting Corporation’s (BBC’s) televised output.

That being said, I’d accept the Beeb’s back catalogue of programmes have far greater marketability than my inane observations. Consequently, market forces dictate the BB of C *** will always outstrip my earning potential, even if I’d the fortune to fulfil all my creative aspirations with subsequent financial security.

*** – As late DJ Kenny Everett loved to dub the organisation funded by the licence payer.

raf,220x294,075,f,403c32-92341a482f.lite-1

Anyhow, I digress……..

According to the tweet I allude to above, Barbara chose to entertain herself during a long car voyage by listening to an audio book. However, much to her chagrin, the tale went off on more tangents than this inane narrative.

Consequently, Bee (as she’s know to people who call her Bee) was unable to follow the storyline. It’s fragmented dialogue making very little sense to the middle-aged lady. Resulting in, ninety minutes after the insertion of the disk, the book concluded with her absolutely at a loss as to what the heck the beginning, middle and end of the story constituted.

Shortly afterwards Barbara identified the root cause of this confusion to be the car’s CD player being set to shuffle. As a result the book chapters were being relayed in random order with the expected consequence of narrative nuances.

On the return journey she took the player out of shuffle mode and replayed the audio book in the correct order. Halfway home, though, she ejected the disk and threw it out of the car window as, despite the story being narrated in the correct sequence, she still didn’t have a chuffing clue what the plot line related to.

There you are an audio book anecdote to end all audio book anecdotes………. Actually, in hindsight, the original 140 character tweet was probably way more entertaining!

Categories: Blogs, fiction, humour, parody

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.