Sshh, Be Vewy, Vewy Quiet….

For the first time in twenty eight years, Christmas Day in the Strachan home will be bereft of voices other than mine and that of my spouse, Karen.

This situation not a consequence of a planned 24-hour sponsored family yuletide silence; an event which the missus and me had stubbornly refuse to participate in. Moreover, the fact that neither of our adult offspring will be home and other family members, whose company we’d ordinarily enjoy on 25th December, can’t make the gig.

For the first time since 1989, the day when Santa Claus makes his fleeting home visits to those lucky enough to have one, we will not be graced by the company of either our children’s presence.

My daughter Rachel, currently residing in Alberta, Canada, maybe working on Christmas Day. Ruling out a seventeen hour return plane trip for a gift of MAC makeup, a meal of over-cooked turkey meat, viewing the Christmas episode of Homes Under The Hammer and an hour or so of participation in a family board game.

I’ve no idea how they spend Christmas in Alberta, but I suspect it’ll be different from home. I’m told Canadian’s love 1970’s UK sitcoms, so her day may entail a meal of moose and back to back Christmas episodes of Are You Being Served, Citizen Smith and It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum.

With the land of the maple leaf being part of the UK Commonwealth, Rach may get an opportunity to view of the traditional yuletide Queen’s Speech. Although, she never watched it back home, so I suspect won’t being taking up that opportunity.

My son Jonny will be spending Christmas Day with his fiancée Jenny at their flat in York. Here, for the second year running, the affianced couple will take a break from the feasting on a traditional Christmas turkey dinner. Last year they dined on Beef Wellington, this year my maverick offspring and his lovely partner plan to consume duck.

I’m hoping this waterfowl will be sourced from a local supermarket, and that my boy isn’t planning to act like a latter day Elmer J Fudd, utilising a series of hair-brained schemes to snare his prey…….. If he is, I just hope he has more luck then Elmer J, otherwise he may be forced to have turkey after all.

Elmer J Fudd

I understand that Jonny and Jenny plan to visit us on Boxing Day for a festive catch up and an exchange of festive gifts. According to my wife, Jonny has magnanimously offered to provide the wabbit for our lunch.

After this challenging year, in some ways I’ll be glad to just spend my Christmas Day alone with Karen. I want to be left to my own devices; eating, drinking and being merry…….. The latter might take some achieving, but I’m confident I’ll manage the eating and drinking elements without much of a struggle.

Anyway, I need to bring this to a conclusion now as I tink I taw next door’s puddy cat digging ominously in my garden border!

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