Due to upcoming changes in my personal circumstances, I’ve been applying for creative writing opportunities online. Thus far I’ve received no response. Although, as the applications were only submitted yesterday evening, perhaps GJ Strachan needs to employ a smidgeon more patience.

As I’ve penned many times previously in these narratives, in middle age on this occasion I owe it to myself to seek employment in a field which’ll play to my strengths.

Not expose myself to another role which, as the then family sole earner, I endured to provide my brood with a relatively comfortable existence – But a move which imparted me with only fleeting fulfilment.

I don’t want a medal for the above sacrifice, just a mention in despatches and a George Foreman grill….. Seriously, though, all I want going forward employment wise is an opportunity to earn an honest bob from a creative gift yours truly suppressed for too long.

Anyhow, moving on……..

The US presidential election is just a fortnight away now. The incumbent Commander-in-Chief using ever more erratic methods, including unconvincing rally dance moves to the foot tapping song YMCA. This deeply uncomfortable looking boogie aimed at attracting more voters whose transport isn’t powered by red diesel.

Footnote – When I write foot tapper above, to be accurate the man in the red corner wasn’t actually moving his feet to the Village People refrain. His motions more stunted arm movements, like someone attempting to gain liberty from a straight jacket…… Maybe he was practising!

Clearly, as a UK citizen, I’ve no skin in this game. However, as the victor’s spoils will be inauguration as leader of the free world, it’ll of course affect millions globally, including yours truly. Perhaps I should dust off my red baseball cap adorning the words ‘Make America Hate Again’ just in case the polls are calling it wrong.

Yes, I know the soundbite is ‘Make America Great Again’, not ‘Make America Hate Again’. However, in my defence, would this whimsical adaption of Trump’s campaign cry not be more apt?….. Just a thought.

Of late, the differences in partisanship demographics between the US and UK public struck me. In Blighty conservatives are predominantly supported by white collar workers and the privileged.

In the land of milk and honey conservatism, apart from the very wealthy, appears to be the political amour of jingoistic blue collar workers, and anyone called Hank…… Well, apart from The Shadows’ singer/guitarist Hank Marvin – The Englishman presumably not an American citizen.

For days, I’ve wracked my brains endeavouring to recall the movie character who displayed the overindulged behaviour as the current president. This morning, like a bolt out of the blue, identity of this parallel persona came to me!…… Judge Elihu Smails from comedy movie ‘Caddyshack’.

Smails the arrogant co-founder of the plot’s Country Golf Club. A curmudgeonly man prone to petulant outbursts if, like a shanked tee drive, his golf round veered from its desired path.

A mischievous gopher’s gleeful damage of the golf course irking the judge even further. Like Democrat candidate Joe Biden’s gravy at a campaign strategy of sitting back and letting Trump destroy his own credibility, the gopher’s brio fed from antagonising the petulant Smails.

The burrowing rodent incurring the overindulged fella’s wrath by creating a network of tunnels under the course’s greens and fairways.

A gopher for US president anyone?!