This morning a COVID-19 related notion popped into my conscious thought which, following a couple of circuits around my neurological corridors, I deemed worthy of mention in despatches.

This not an epiphany of a magnitude which’ll illuminate this prevailing dark global landscape. My coronavirus ‘lightbulb moment’ not something useful, such as a suggested vaccine for the currently incurable pathogen, or unearthing a process of fermenting my own good quality wine in a timely fashion. Moreover, this thought a lukewarm inquiry as to the nations sartorial elegance while treading these victim strewn COVID battle fields.

Footnote – The world hopefully isn’t relying on me coaxing a vaccine from a cupboard in which it clandestinely resides. My scientific knowledge perches on a plateau so low that, if my suggestion to the British Medical Council (BMC) of curing this pathogen with liquorice Pontefract Cakes proved unsuccessfully, I’d have to offload this poisonous parcel to the sucker on my right.

As indicated above, my less than box-office notion relates to how dress codes have evolved during lockdown. Which clothing’s become de rigueur as battle fatigues during conflict with invisible foe? In particular, what do are our ‘going out’ clothes make of their newly acquired mothball fragrance.

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During rare tarries into my wardrobe, I attempt to avert my eyes from smarter clothing. Not from any notion of now deeming them gaudy or unfashionable, moreover an idiosyncratic underlying feeling of neglect.

This smart casual attire accompanying me on many a jolly. My thanks for this companionship and enhancing my sartorial elegance during good times is to shamefully disregard them through the bad.

I just hope that when this COVID-19 malarkey ends they’ll prove forgiving enough to bequeath the sterling company pre-pandemic. Because at this juncture, the mixed attire’s languid gait as it hangs mournfully, manifests many a guilt-ridden moment within GJ Strachan’s psyche.

The clobber appear to employ an emotional blackmail technique, masterfully utilised by sad-eyed Cavalier King Charles spaniels when owners eat. These sorrowful looking canines fully aware that by perching at your feet gazing up pitifully, it’s only a matter of time before large swathes of a ‘victims’ dinner will reside deep within their own stomachs.

Guts, incidentally, which’ll ordinarily also contain their own food; troughed moments before those human suckers attempted to consume their table top fare. The success of an actor bearing blue eyes to swing an audition in Hollywood, paling into insignificance as to the influencing qualities of dogs sad eye routines.

Among other ‘going out’ clothing which seemingly possess an element of the bewitched are my casual jackets. I’m convinced on more than one occasion while muddling through the wardrobe, these smart short coats have held out their arms, like a toddler seeking a parental cuddle, as if beckoning me to give them sunlight and fresh air…… Receiving spectral visions of this nature, perhaps it’s me who needs greater exposure to solar rays and fresh air.

Earlier, I questioned the battle fatigues we adorn during this quarantining consequential of COVID-19. As I’ve not undertaken one iota of research into this inquiry, I’m making the observations below from gut-feeling, not informed opinion.

It seems from witnessing numerous postings on a variety of social media apps, that the top five ‘work from home’ attire reads as follows:-

1 – Gym gear 

2 – T-shirt, hoodie and shorts

3 – Pajamas and dressing gown

4 – Boris Johnson onesie

5 – A smile…… Actually, coming to think of it, that was witnessed on a different media app!!! 😉