Day two of isolation amongst the Yorkshire Dales’ aesthetically pleasing rural mural. My temporary residence, a 19th century cottage, hopefully my sanctuary from contracting the coronavirus. Misguidedly, I poetically like to think COVID-19 wouldn’t dare darken the door of this idyllic setting with it’s stark agenda, but it’s clearly a notion of folly.

Overnight, I’ve acquired a sporadic chesty cough which I understand is a symptom of the virus. However, as a man whose mind has oft wrongly subject him to low self esteem and incorrect notions, I’m not going to worry just yet. I’ll sit tight and tell the black hooded guy at the door with a scythe I’m owed more time and to do one!

Sat outside earlier, post-breakfast cuppa in hand while courtyard in situ, I saw and heard the cacophonous coo of a grouse. Hiding behind a shrub in the gardens of these 200 year old Yorkshire stone edifices, when emitting it’s shrill call from position stealth it’s fair to say I was somewhat startled.

When I say somewhat startled what yours truly really means is, after this incident, I’m glad I managed to secure a pack of toilet roll prior to departing West Yorkshire on Wednesday evening…….. How ironic would that be? GJ Strachan suffering a shock induced heart attack whilst isolating to avoid contracting COVID-19!

With the grouse retreating to wherever Galliformes reside, tranquility once again reigns in this corner of Richmondshire. Sadly, though, with a chill breeze and grouse effected ringing in my lugs, I’ve returned into the warmer environ of my two centuries old residence to complete these observations.

With The Strangler’s 70’s punk anthem No More Heroes playing on low volume in the background, I’ve just had an epiphany for authoring a children’s book about a superhero called Vinny Virus Killer.

Vinny, bearing eyesight as powerful of a state of the art microscope, tours the avenues and alleyways of stricken metropolises identifying and disposing of deadly pathogens. After the earlier incident when startled by a the Galliforme, I may also add disposing of grouse within his job description remit.

That’s, of course, if superheroes have job descriptions! I’d like to think they abide to a labour demarcations, not wander around the place carrying out non-contracted work, indulging in other superheroes tasks.

I’m hoping Superman has boundaries that mitigate against him undertaking, say, Spiderman’s work. However, if truth be told, I’ve no real idea of legislative limits afforded to that particular occupation.

One thing for sure, I’m going to ensure I include Vinny’s contractual details, including salary and benefits in my children’s book. I’m sure the kid’s will love reading literature based on trade union and human resource edicts.

Anyhow, back on this planet!…….. Maybe!

One of my cottage neighbours has just walked into her holiday home dressed in a red and white sweater, blue jeans, also adorning a pair of specs. Witnessing this sight brings to mind the animated character Where’s Wally?

One thing for sure, with COVID-19 induced empty streets and the banning of large gatherings, Wally’s opportunities to undertake his much loved habit of hiding amongst crowds have taken a severe downturn.

Coronavirus contributing to the death of Where’s Wally? Introducing in it’s place the game of There’s Wally!

wheres wally