Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

A Whimsical Daily Diary From Deep Within A Random Mind

Gerchta

Over the weekend, I was sad to read of the passing of Chas & Dave pianist Chas Hodges.

Hodges, one half of the London pair who in the 1980’s taught us when it comes to a vacation, “You can keep the Costa Brava, I tell you mate I’d rava have a day darn Margate wiv all me family.” Not forgetting also educating their discerning listeners that when diminutive Tottenham Hotspurs midfielder Ossie Ardiles played at Wembley his knees went all trembly.

Reading of his death brought to mind a narrative penned earlier this year. A random offering where I made a tenuous link between the Chas & Dave song ‘Gerchta’ and a power washer manufacturer’s name, which I’d earlier used to clean my mum’s patio.

A tale journalling the cathartic qualities of power blasting a patio and the uplifting nature of an old school singalong around the old ‘Joanna’. Although not necessarily at the same time!…… Not to mention my fondness of the refrains of two chirpy cockney urchins, intent on maintaining the music traditions of their forefathers.

RIP Chas Hodges

————————————————————————————————————————————

That narrative went as follows-

Whilst removing the grime from mater’s jardin masonry, my capricious neurological corridors received an idea so unexpected I…… erm….. didn’t expect it. The surprise guest an awe inspiring epiphany of the similarity between power cleaner manufacturer Karcher’s*** name and the title of Chas & Dave’s song Gerchta.

*** Karcher – the name of the manufacturers appliance I was utilising….. Other pressure cleaning products are available but they don’t rhyme with the Gertcha, so I’m unable to link them effectively into this monologue.

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Before

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After

After this ‘light bulb’ moment, I made it my mission to use my creative wherewithal to incorporate the cockney duo’s 1979 toe-tapper somewhere within today’s blog. A refrain with roots in the 20th century London pub tradition of standing around the old Joanna ‘aving a knees-up. The melody a latter-day Boiled Beef & Carrots, or it’s dysfunctional cockney cousin that told of their stockings being hung on the Siegfried Line.

Admittedly, there’s little other than rhyming that links the German family run cleaning appliance company with that Chas & Dave tune; an upbeat ditty which manifests aspirations of being a Pearly King for a day.

Fate’s a mercurial mistress. If I’d have used a Bosch AQT 40-13 to clean my mater’s flagstones and retaining wall, the song Posh may have been this morning’s unexpected play on my cranial jukebox.

Posh the chirpy song from the musical Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang – A tune where a furry faced cockney geezer philosophically sings his way through his abduction by airship. As opposed to Gertcha, an upbeat philosophical refrain by two furry-faced cockneys who didn’t have to contend with the distraction of being snatched by zeppelin mid-song.

Anyway, it wasn’t a Bosch, the Karcher my companion when cleansing the masonry……… All together now…….

When me rock and roll records wake him up
Gertcha!
When the Poles knocked England out the cup
Gertcha!
When the kids are banging on his door
Gertcha!
When the barman won’t serve him any more

Gertcha, cowson…………..

Categories: Blogs, fiction, humour

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  1. Tribute Transgression – Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

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