Stains

Coincidentally, not only was yesterday (May 1st) ‘World Naked Gardening Day’ it was apparently also ‘World Arrested For Indecent Exposure Day’. A lesson learned to my cost when finding out buying lawn feeder from a garden centre can’t be classed as horticultural maintenance. My shame exacerbated further by foolishly undertaking the naturist act of procuring…

An Unlikely Tale

I’ve just been unpacking a bulky new fridge which, when being shifted by GJ Strachan in isolation, felt so heavy and vast I wouldn’t have surprised me to learn it possessed it’s own zip code. Now unpacked and garage in situ, the huge silver coloured ‘construction’ now looking down on everything in its adjacent proximity….

Put The Telly On, Gazza

Walking Coco along the village’s Main Street yesterday morning, yours truly witnessed a parked car outside of the local school which, from the way it’d mounted the pavement, I assumed was pulled over by a parent who was up against time. As my lab/retriever sniffed inquisitively at an adjacent garden wall, seeing this vehicle, with…

Feast And Famine

First thing this morning, seeking to identify ingredients which’d contribute to this evenings culinary masterpiece, I undertook an impulsive audit of refrigerator items. Among these comestibles were half a bottle of coke, a half bottle of Pinot Grigio, three-quarters of a lemon, along two cheeses that’d seen better days….. Although, I suspect those better days…

One, Two, Tree

Following yesterday’s efforts by her attention-seeking elder son, Mrs Strachan senior’s Christmas tree now stands imposingly in the front room bay window of her West Yorkshire abode. The artificial evergreen bringing a much needed hint of festive cheer and chromatic hue to the octogenarian’s lounge. Reading my previous sentence, some may suggest after penning artificial there’s…

Archdeacon of Bridgebridge

Yesterday I penned my 2,200 blog since embarking on this literary odyssey. My informing you of such proving beyond doubt that, at the very least, I’ve the intellectual wherewithal to count to 2,000, and even slightly beyond. Quite clearly, I was kidding above when suggesting yours truly tallied the narrative numbers manually. COVID lockdown can…

Legacy

Yours truly feels like I’ve been run over by a steamroller this morning….. I knew it was a mistake getting tarmac laid in the front room. Seriously, though, I’ve woken consumed with fatigue, lethargy, along with feelings of indifference about whether to even pen a blog this Remembrance Day. However, I must remain disciplined; adhering…

The Unused Questions

Due to a melting pot of fatigue, desire to watch the England football match and one of the lads ‘going through the change’, last night’s Zoom quiz with buddies was postponed. It’d be inappropriate to identify the victim of male menopause, but Ian Strachan of 311 Grab Street, Etchester, Tyne & Wear, appears to be…

Book Biographies 2

I’m taking a lazy option when it comes to today’s blogging process. Instead of my usual 500 minimum narrative, yours truly intends to share a selection of parody biographical data which form part of books printed and published on my behalf by blookup.com. These predominantly fictional vignettes written with a view of augmenting the clambake’s…