Although hits on my website have been healthy of late, I’ve been mulling over strategies to increase exposure to these narratives. My aspiration to seek initiatives that increase readership volumes at a swifter rate than it’s current sloth-like organic growth.

The aim to further showcase my thousands of hours of creative output. A gimmick sought that’ll push interest in the amalgam of ideas manifesting from dark recesses of my mind. Epiphanies stored in neurological corridors next to a lonely looking red fire bucket of sand.

I’ve a great deal of fondness for my predominantly fictional chronicles of whimsy. Thinking of them as my long lost children for whom nothing is too much trouble……  Unless they ask to watch ‘Love Island’ then they can go and become long lost again!

With this in mind, yesterday I embarked on a brainstorming session with my wife Karen, seeking  possible brand growing ideas. This interaction in the modest lounge of casa Strachan went something like this:-

Karen – “Why don’t you offer a meerkat toy for every reader, Gary?….. It seems to work well for that insurance company on telly.”

Me – “That idea’s a non-starter, Karen. I don’t monetise the website so can’t afford to fork out for thousands of pounds on fluffy toys to incentivise readers.”

Karen (idiosyncratically) – “What about a real meerkat then?…. Kids love them, and you wouldn’t have the cost of producing and delivering the toy versions.”

Me (dismissively)- “Even if I could source real meerkats, which is doubtful, they’d still cost money to purchase and delivery charges of live animals would be more astronomical than toy versions.”

Karen (‘helpfully’) – “How about offering a free fridge magnet and a picture of a meerkat to anyone who reads five blogs in a day?”

Me (dismissively, again) – “That’d still cost money to produce…… Anyway, I have no statistics captured which reveal who visits my site. I only receive the number of hits and country of readers origin, meaning there’d be no way of knowing if someone had read five blogs in that day, or not.”

Karen (inexplicably) – “You’re so negative, Gary…. You need to sort yourself out and focus on the task at hand!”

Me (despairingly) – “I’m not being negative. It’s just your ideas are ridiculous, unworkable suggestions….. I’m seeking innovative epiphanies that don’t cost money, are simple to implement and don’t involve chuffing meerkats!!”

Karen (defensively) – “Ok, no need to get shirty!….. How about offering a free meerkat fridge magnet to the reader of ten blogs in one day?”

Me (through gritted teeth) – “No good!…. The idea would still cost me money and it involves flipping meerkats…… And, even if it was the best suggestion I’d ever heard, I DON’T RECEIVE THE STATISTICS REQUIRED TO SUPPORT THE BLOODY IDEA!!”

Karen (shocked at my level of despair) – “Blimey, who rattled your cage?!…… How about putting an advert in the local Crossgates Clarion?”

Me (relieved the idea didn’t relate to meerkats) – “That’s a possibility I suppose!”

Karen (eureka moment)- “Actually, there is one sure way of increasing your readership, Gary.”

Me – “O yeah, what’s that?”

Karen – “Write better quality blogs than the usual b*ll*cks you subject your readers to!!”

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