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Bring Out The Bielsa Seltzer!

Today, the sun looks down on me both figuratively and metaphorically. Not only are solar rays paying a welcome visit, but the gravy consequential from yesterday’s confirmation of Leeds United as champions has reinvigorated my mood to a plateau not tarried for many a year.

Euphoria’s an infrequent visitor to GJ Strachan’s over-analysing mind. For many already well-documented reasons, the last decades life hurdles at times draining every last drop of enthusiasm and hope of existential redemption.

Even happier manic moods, which indulgently demand my attention in equal measure to the depressive episodes, very rarely get anywhere near levels of brio currently cascading from my every pore.

When analysing the upturn in mood, as is my want, I find it bizarre something I’d not contributed to in any way whatsoever brings in its wake the utter joy I’m currently experiencing. Lots of fans have done by, pre-lockdown, turning up in their thousands to cheer on their heroes, or augmenting club coffers through procuring Leeds United merchandise.

Although attending scores of games in the sixteen years of the clubs wilderness, GJ Strachan hasn’t attended a game this season, or bought replica playing or training kit for many years. Those facts, though, haven’t negated me attaining the elation levels of all Leeds United supporters.

The way I see it is it matters not how many games I went to this season. My half century of winters as an extra in this torrid, capricious soap opera have earned me the right to experience this all consuming euphoria.

After all, I would’ve had to deal with the utter misery experienced if we’d replicated last seasons hard-hitting storyline. A dreadfully difficult watch when the wheels fell off our promotion push at the death, before hastily departing down the nearby M621 motorway behind a jubilant Derby County team bus. That result condemning us to a 16th year in wilderness from the Premiership

So anyhow, bearing the above notions in mind, here’s my thought’s on yesterday’s bulletin my footballing amours had been promoted as champions……… “YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!……. GET IN YOU BEAUTIEEEEEESSSSS!”

A tribal victory of this magnitude the greatest depression medication of all. The fact Leeds’ve achieved the accolade early (with two games remaining) also aiding physical health by reducing my heart rate and blood pressure significantly……. The premature nature of the accomplishment will also no doubt contribute towards to major toilet roll savings.

I imagine after two days of celebrations (Friday for promotion and Saturday for becoming champions) today’s fixture away at Derby County will be challenging for the boys.

Leeds already without the injured Kalvin Phillips (knee) and Helder Costa (ribs) giving late fitness tests to the rest of the squad who’ve all mysteriously been struck down with banging headaches. They’ll no doubt will be ok after a dose of Bielsa Seltzer. Although, club sources claim Polish international Mateusz Klich will only play if the midfield talisman can finish his doner kebab before kick off.

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Bielsa Seltzer

Of course, Leeds will bear aspirations of winning the remaining two fixtures. However, in the grand scheme of things, as Liverpool players did when recently crowned Premiership champions, they’ve fully deserved that ‘blowout’. If we suffer results wise from that excess so be it. They’ve put in a mighty effort this season to achieve their objective.

Cheers to all the main protagonists at Leeds United football club for rocketing me to this wonderfully euphoric plateau……. Congratulations boy!!

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