Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

Off The Wall Essays From Deep Within A Capricious Mind

Adapting

Yesterday, during discharge from hospital, a medic warned me to take things steady physically, along with avoiding situations that may trigger stressful responses. Well meaning advice key to GJ Strachan’s speedier post-op recuperation. The need of which chronicled in greater depth in yesterdays blog ‘Home at Last’ – https://strachan.blog/2019/01/15/home-at-last/

Knowing the potential consequences of not adhering to these words of wisdom, I thoroughly intend to heed this warning. By consequences I’m referring to the purgatory of having to spend time back in a place where last Saturday the most appealing gratis TV show on offer was Hetty Wainthropp Investigates.

Or even worse, the consequence could potentially be me passing and going to hell. An unappealing place where the ghosts of Simon Cowell’s discarded t-shirts look down sneeringly on out of tune sinners……. Hell’s Got Talent? Not according to Simon’s old tops it hasn’t!

That being said, though, hopefully when my time comes I won’t be going to hell. An aspiration based on the fact I’d like to think during my lifetime (thus far) my good deeds outweigh my misdemeanours…… However, on the off chance that isn’t enough to spare me the trip it’s probably best I brush up on my Harry Connick Jr crooning routine.

On returning home, despite full intentions of adhering to the discharge nurses sagely advice, I hadn’t realised how challenging the avoidance of stress triggers would prove to be.

I’ve been back at casa Strachan for less than a day. However, already I’ve been moved to mitigate against heart strain by turning off any TV show relating to Brexit. Not to mention, evading references to the current inexplicably high profile Leeds United Spygate story.

Already I’m finding complete avoidance of stressful situations is an incredibly difficult, if not impossible, task. With multiple media channels cascading torrents of information 24 x 7, evading a sojourn to Displeasure Land*** is a terrifically challenging task.

*** – Displeasure Land – A metaphorical theme park where, regardless of your best intentions not to react, armaments of orations by TV presenters Piers Morgan, Richard Madeley and Jeremy Kyle will eventually antagonise you into a mood of rabid displeasure.

I suppose with attempts to steer totally clear of stressful circumstance being nigh on undoable, one has to concentrate on how you react to the inevitable situations that will fuel displeasure.

Adapting my thoughts on events that trouble me so they……. erm……. don’t. Utilising my heart scare as a catalyst to look at things from a different perspective; focussing now on the thing bugging me bears significantly less importance than my physical and mental wellbeing.

It’s easier said than done, but I’ve no option to follow that mantra if I want to avoid another Saturday evening watching Hetty Wainthropp Investigates in the Leeds General Infirmary……. Or worse X-Factor!

Seriously, though, the last six days have shocked me into appreciating my mortality. Like all animals, as long as I’ve access to water, food, oxygen and shelter it’s possible to survive. Nothing else is critical enough to worry myself to death over.

Categories: Blogs, humour

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