Is It A Bird? Is It A Plane?….

Despite being a disciple of creativity – Particularly broadening my horizons and looking at art without prejudice, I’m not one who is overly precious about technological innovation.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the absolute need for society to evolve technology wise, however, I’m far from having enough interest in the topic to be called ‘Gadget Man’…… Moreover, my excitement levels with latest technological advances are on a plateau that would probably earn me the label of ‘Only Remotely Interested Man’.

Incidentally, while re-reading that last sentence it dawned on me what a great superhero character ‘Only Remotely Interested Man’ would be. A chap fighting evil despite his total indifference about his nemesis’ crime. A man who procrastinates while changing into his superhero cape and mask, who utilises the catchphrase “Calm thesen, love!…. I’ll be with thee when I’ve finished watchin’ t’ One Show.”

I can imagine the movie trailer now:- “Remotely Interested Man – He’ll save the world, but only after 7.30pm when the One Show finishes. He might be a little late sorting out the bad guys, but should be there right after he’s dropped off his Barbara Dickson CD at Batman’s house….. Show some b****y patience will ya!!…… Jeez, you’re high maintenance!!”

To clarify, I’m not putting myself forward for the role. Last time I donned a red cape I was almost gored by a bull. Bearing in mind I was walking through the Arndale Shopping Centre in Crossgates at the time it gave me quite a start.

This a fateful visit to the small shopping centre, during which I received a ban from management for unsettling customers by wearing undies outside my tracksuit bottoms. Not to mention, receiving further admonishment for causing untold havoc in Wilkinson’s paint aisle after foolishly attempting to fly.

Admittedly, I quite like the accepted tardiness bequeathed to ‘ Only Remotely Interested Man’. However, on reflection I don’t like working night shifts or wearing undies outside my trousers, Even the tax breaks of that attire being classified as a uniform won’t persuade me to apply for the position. Consequently, I’ll give the position a wide berth.

Anyhow, I digress………

Proof of my lack of interest in possessing the latest gadgets is endorsed by the fact my phone’s a few generations below it’s latest model. Additionally, my electronic devices are fairly dated – Unashamedly, I possess gadgets that are functional, but bereft of the ‘bells and whistles’ functionality craved by many.

One element of innovation that does occasionally get house room within my neurological corridors is what gadgets/technology will be at humanity’s  disposal fifty years hence.

My question being will we see similar technological development as in the fifty plus years? Approximately the duration I’ve ventured along this experiential path?

Among the development within my lifetime have been the arrival of the colour TV, domestic video recorder, numbered football sock tags, a moon landing, several Dr Who regenerations, numerous Basil Brush co-hosts, audio cassette tapes, audio compact disks, the introduction and evolution of the personal computer, laser eye surgery, the iPod, the iPad, the och ayePad (in Scotland), the why ayePad (in Sunderland/Newcastle), the invention of football by Sky Sports and Corrie’s Deirdrie Rashid jailed for a crime she didn’t commit.

What will future generations have to look back on in fifty years time? If I was of a more inquisitive nature, through the magic of research I’d probably have a clue as to which innovations were in the pipeline for short/medium term use……… Sadly, though, I don’t.

However, I hope the infra-red peanuts I’m developing for eating in cinemas, theatres and other poorly lit establishments will be amongst their weekly food shop in 2068.

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