Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

A Whimsical Daily Diary From Deep Within A Random Mind

Shelves of Sanctuary

I recently watched a few earlier episodes of TV drama The Sopranos. A series that, despite it’s final episode being over ten years old, maintains a lofty perch on the Gary Strachan shelves of sanctuary.

You may wonder what the heck the Gary Strachan shelves of sanctuary represent. As I’ve just making up the term, I certainly do!…… That being said, I’ll try to ‘wing it’ with an explanation of what I’m attempting to convey with that idiosyncratic lexilogical offering.

The most adept description I can muster is that Gary Strachan’s shelves of sanctuary are a metaphor for the comforting environment he occasionally escapes during darker times. A domain of serenity where I’m transported by the likes of a favourite TV show, eating a much-liked meal or listening to a piece of music of which I’m enamoured.

Mercifully, with the shelves being a metaphor, I don’t have to worry about them collapsing due to poorly fitting brackets, like the curtain poles I refer to in Falling

In a nutshell Gary Strachan’s shelves of sanctuary is merely a term for where my favoured items get stored. I could have just as easily have named them the cupboard of sanctuary. The means of storage not important, moreover what’s secured in the space, in particular the cathartic powers ingrained within the zone.

In the movie The Sound of Music, Maria Von Trapp (played by Julie Andrews) sang that her shelves of sanctuary contained raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens…… A revelation highlighting that some people are just far too easily pleased!

Despite not bearing any ill-will to rain water, kitten’s whiskers, well polished kettles and knitted hand attire, I beg to differ with the singing nun at what she finds cathartic. My own particular favourite things including the watching of gritty TV broadcasts of The Sopranos and Breaking Bad. A list also including a Chicken Tikka Balti with Garlic from Akbars restaurant and a refreshing pint of Birra Moretti.

sopranos gif

Admittedly, The Sopranos (TS) and Breaking Bad (BB) weren’t around when governess Maria  sang it to her seven charges, in an attempt to calm them during a thunder storm. That being said, it’s unlikely if Oscar Hammerstein’s original lyrics were updated we’d see a nun waxing lyrical about those particular TV shows. One of which depicts graphic scenes of gangland assassinations; the other a terminally ill chemistry teacher cooking Crystal Meth.

As much as I’d like to hear the TS and BB influenced verse below included in a parody of Hammerstein and Richard Rodger’s ‘My Favourite Things’, I realise it ain’t happening!

Blood splattered Noses, and

Whiskey fuelled clippings

Bright pure crystals

Heisenberg’s customers smitten

Brown paper packages hiding stolen bling

These are a few of my favourite things.

To clarify, at no level do I condone the gratuitous butchery or drug making/taking in the shows above. That particular verse how I imagine an updated lyric would look if the singing nun/governess shared my love of The Sopranos and Breaking Bad.

Although The Sopranos was a superbly written screen drama, it’s ultimate ending was amongst the worse conclusions to an iconic TV show that I can recall.

I won’t spoil it if you haven’t seen the last ever scene of the chronicles of gangland shenanigans set in New Jersey. Other than comment when it concluded I thought we’d lost electric power to our TV.

Categories: Blogs, fiction, humour, parody

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