Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

Off The Wall Essays From Deep Within A Capricious Mind

A Merry Old Soul

History tells us, well nursery rhymes submit anyhow, Old King Cole was a merry old soul who called for his pipe, he called for his bowl and he called for his fiddlers three. This trinity of desires seemingly keeping old Colers (as he was never known) in a chipper mood while whiling away the hours waiting for his local boozer’s happy hour to start.

No relation to late US singer Nat King Cole, this rhyme shows you should never underestimate the cathartic qualities of having access to a pipe, bowl and a trio of fiddlers.

Quite obviously, in comparison to contemporary times, when first published in 1708 was an era with a paucity of entertainment channels. For instance, I don’t believe iPhones or Dyson vacuums*** had been invented at that time; or even a gardener’s best friend, the Frank Harrison Weed Whacker.

*** – Incidentally, unless you’ve a very unfulfilling existence, I realise vacuuming and removing garden weeds can’t be described as entertainment channels. However, like my reference to the iPhone, they’re intentionally ludicrous notions which clearly aren’t meant to be taken seriously.

While musing about the above nursery rhyme, it made me think about technological advances, in particular how our entertainment options have evolved over the centuries. Back in 1708 accessibility to pipe, bowl and three fiddlers could’ve meant you’d reached an en vogue entertainment pinnacle. Or king as in Coley’s (which have was also never known) case.

18th century happiness built on having then state of the art pastimes; not knowing that in 300 years time things would be even better and you’d have availability of electricity, a vacuum cleaner that required neither dust bag or electric cable (apart from when charging the battery).

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GJ Strachan pondered further what a blogger 300 hence from now would make of the options to entertain in the early 21st century. What will UK’s inhabitants in the year 2319 AD make of our technology in 2019? Wondering what entertainment channels will in three centuries time be available to Frank and Betty Burgerbun, from Keighley; or enhance John and Keith Kebab from Newton Aycliffe.

Will they have a Dyson vacuum cleaner the size of a postage stamp which, like Dr Who’s Tardis, is surprising spacious inside, allowing it’s owner extraordinary storage capacity. Is it possible we’ll have reached iPhone version 500 when the 24th century appears on the scene?

A phone the size of a 42″ TV screen but feather-like in weight. A device which has conduit capabilities to allow your local takeaway to fax you your favourite pizza…… Or indeed any pizza, favourite or otherwise. A phone that’d grant phenomenal user experience when streaming movies on 52G cellular phone technology, which fits snugly into the 3.5 x 2 foot high jean pockets which are en vogue in 2319.

Who knows, though, humans in the 24th century may’ve grown tired of the never ending technological advances. Realising that most of the technology they purchase only gives short term fulfilment, and most of the entertainment streams they pay for aren’t utilised.

Who knows, the proletariat may’ve even regressing back to the enjoying the pastimes of the early 18th century. Being happy as a pig in s***e with access to a pipe, bowl and three fiddlers!

Categories: Blogs, fiction, humour, parody

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