GJ Strachan commences this monologue fresh from feeding my little canine buddy Coco her lunch. As I look across at my Labrador/retriever cross sat on the settee it’s heartening to see the look of contentment borne from emptying her food bowl and the walk we embarked upon prior to eating..

Our perambulation taking place around her local park, which included the doggy diva rolling in a sandpit. The aforementioned roll resulting in her returning home with her coat containing enough sand to sculpt a scaled model of 6′ 7″ inch TV presenter Richard Osman.

Not that Coco will be utilising the sandpit’s former contents in that fashion. After all, when sand sculpting, she tends to create replicas of famous buildings, such as the Taj Mahal and the Leaning Tower of Pisa….. I’ve no idea why she creates sand replicas of her favourite takeaway restaurants, but each to their own, I suppose.

When she returns home from work, I envisage Cokes’ (as I lovingly address her) mum/owner won’t be happy with contents of the local park’s sandpit now residing on her wooden floor and matching sofas.

Footnote – Incidentally, when I refer to wooden floor and matching sofas, I’m referring to the fact Coco’s mum has a pair of identical settees; not the sofas match the wooden floor. I’d envisage a solely wooden settee would be about as comfortable as using a porcupine as a pillow.

Cokes, is currently laid on one of the aforementioned chaise longes. No doubt mustering the energy to sculpt a replica of Dino’s Kebab Emporium on Potash Road. The seven year old lab/retriever bearing a prodigious appetite which, if there was a TV show titled Dog vs Food, would surely see her reign as champion.

That being said, Coco is currently on a diet, her mum’s aspiring to help her shed a few kgs, instead of dog hair and sand!!. Cokes is certainly helping my diet. Her strategy of guilt tripping me out of part of my meals courtesy of her sad eye treatment working a treat. The only way I’m guaranteed to consume a meal to myself when my canine buddy’s around is if I have soup.

As I commence this paragraph, there’s no sign of the beautiful dog who’s not only stolen my heart, but also regularly mischievously steals my socks. Who’d have thought it; a nose blind retriever!!…… That being said, she appears to have some boundaries; sensibly giving my floor lain undies a wide berth.

She’s probably gone to bed. A full belly and walking back from the park with a hundred weight of sand in her coat, no doubt tiring the little lady out.

I’m participating in a Zoom quiz this evening with a group of buddies. Meaning, after I’ve written this, I need to write a series of questions for the ‘True or False’ round. Catechisms hopefully underpinned with whimsy and/or absurdity,, such as “True or False – Actor/Comedian Les Dennis’ career started plummeting when Mavis Riley left Coronation Street in 1997?”

I’ve been a tad lax by leaving writing the questions to the last minute. Procrastination consequential of me spending more time drawing movie star caricatures, walking Cokes and pondering which future career path to tread when my role is made redundant in the coming months.

Anyhow, I’ll bring this piece to a conclusion now. It’s looking like Coco wants a hand with her sand sculpturing.

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