Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

A Whimsical Daily Diary From Deep Within A Random Mind

Any Dream Won’t Do

Tuesday 19th June – In yesterday’s narrative Let Me Take You By The Hand I penned of my idiosyncratic night visions on Sunday night. Illusions in which I was denied entry from entering my dream phase by two officious doormen who’d taken exception for wearing footwear that breached it’s dress code protocol.

You’ll be pleased (or more likely be completely indifferent) to know that on Monday night I managed to gain access to dreamland. Incidentally, that’s not a sofa/bed retail outlet on the outskirts of Leeds, I refer to entering a sleep state of REM.

Admittedly, going to bed in my best suit and brown leather brogues raised a few questions from my wife Karen. Enquiries that weren’t satisfactorily answered by a response of “Don’t ask!” or “Read Monday’s blog.”……Regardless, the method in my madness paid off as desires to experience night visions were ultimately fulfilled.

I always wake feeling more refreshed when I have dreams. It seems to calm my mind, which never seems to take a hiatus from seeking the next whimsical epiphany during waking hours.

That being said I’ve had better nights slumber. Wearing shoes in bed made movement uncomfortable and awkward – Not to mention incurring a cleaning cost now my best suit looks like….. errrrr……. well, I’ve slept in it.

summer-dream

Additionally, the dream wasn’t without stress. The visions regressing me to a time when I was attending an intensive 10-day course on IT Service Management in Birmingham. An all-consuming experience that left me mentally spent at it’s conclusion…… And that was just from spending a fortnight in Birmingham!

Anyhow, Monday night’s dream took me back to the time of this course. Days when I learned what I’d really known for years – A realisation that I wasn’t playing to my strengths career wise, which as sole family provider wasn’t a simple situation to resolve.

During these night illusions, I was being forced to sit 2 x three hour exams about Service Management disciplines. A concerning scenario, exacerbated by the fact it was around twenty years ago since I attended the course – Not to mention  I’d not worked in the field of work for over four years.

My tutor’s pre-exam advice of “Don’t worry about those years since you studied the subject. Just have a guess at an answer you’re not sure about.” did little to diminish my disenchantment about having to sit these exams. Neither did his further advice of “Go through your course notes. With your years in the field you’ll be fine!” 

“How long have I got until the exam starts?” I sighed with frustration.

“Ten minutes.” my lecturer responded with a mischievous grin emblazoned across his visage.

“Ten minutes!!!!…… How the hell am I supposed to acquire anything meaningful from two massive folders of ten IT Service Management disciplines in that time?” I spluttered back angrily. “The notes took two weeks to cover during the course. How am I meant to cover even 1% of the material in such a short time?!”

“Speed reading.” responded the lecturer, becoming ever more unhelpful. From his broadening grin this IT Service Management guru was clearly enjoying his mischievous verbal jousting.

“If I was the fastest speed reader in the world I couldn’t achieve what you’re asking in the time restrictions imposed…… There’s hundreds of pages in those folders. Even if I could manage to read them all I’d never retain a tiny fraction of  that information!” I continued with my whining.

“There could be a way around it.” a slightly more conciliatory lecturer highlighted.

“£50?” I offered sheepishly.

“Congratulations Gary, you’re now an ISEB qualified IT Service Manager……. Oh, and might I add you’re looking very smart today.”

Categories: Blogs, fiction, humour, parody

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