Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

Off The Wall Essays From Deep Within A Capricious Mind

Tag Archive for ‘dark humour’

Death & All His Friends

During a period of pondering over my own mortality post cardiac arrest, one of the notions I briefly dwelt upon was what I’d have missed most should the coin have landed on the other side and GJ Strachan hadn’t survived the incident. Despite being capricious of mood and, as my mother would say, exhibiting a visage that at times “Could stop a clock“, there are occasions my body language can […]

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Well Don’t Do It Then!

Over many years of undertaking the unofficial and unwanted role of St Garfield, the patron saint of hospital waiting rooms, I’ve learned it’s possible to extract humour, melancholy and maybe a thought-provoking notion from even the darkest of situations. For instance, during my post cardiac-arrest hospital admission I was asked scores of medical questions – On reaching question 65, I interrupted the nurse to quip how unimpressed I was with […]

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Thank You Very Much

This morning I accompanied Karen to an oncologist appointment for the results of her recent CT Scan. Occasions like this are always tense times; the seemingly endless build up to acquire news of how her multiple tumours are behaving. Unlike reality show contestants awaiting results, our news is important – Literally a matter of life and death. Not angst born from worrying about being kicked off a glorified talent show […]

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You Won’t See Nothing Like The Mannequin

Today, while collecting for MacMillan Cancer Support in the Mark & Spencer store on Briggate, Leeds, I was momentarily blindsided by an unexpected instance of paranoia. This incident occurring while undertaking my voluntary role close to the stores Briggate entrance doors. The scene played out a few short yards from the women’s clothing department, during what was an otherwise incident-free and fruitful three hours at my post. Standing facing the […]

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Wheel Within A Wheel

It’s a cycle that seems to arrive swifter than it takes Olympic champion Jason Kenny to complete a circuit of a velodrome. For almost eight years, this cyclic event has been an undesirable but essential evil undertaken by my long suffering wife – Mandatory medical treatment required every four weeks; a crucial ally in her long-running battle with incurable illness. As I look out from a 3rd floor waiting room […]

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Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

As I commence putting pen to paper, the distant sound of Adele singing the melancholic  When We Were Young emanates from the opposite side of my lounge/dining room. Obviously, the source of the Tottenham-born singer’s trademark lament is a radio station channel. The superstar hasn’t travelled to my modest West Yorkshire abode to perform the song live……. Sadly, she rang last night to cancel due to the current adverse weather […]

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An Awful Lot Of Coffee….

This morning, following cack-handedly spilling most of my coffee in the passenger foot well, I inadvertently stumbled upon an enticing new car air freshener. I don’t think my accidental discovery will secure me investment backing on TV’s Dragons Den – However it certainly beats the aroma of kiddies vomit in the league table of car interior fragrances. Everyone loves the smell of coffee, with the possible exception of the Garforth I Much Prefer Tea Association, who allegedly detest […]

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