Rendezvous With The Son & Heir

Yesterday, I ventured east on the A64 to the York Designer Outlet where I met up with my twentysomething son Jonny. An amiable young man, the fact he’s occasionally prepared to read my narratives, when his sister steadfastly refuses, contribute to making the Leeds lad my favoured offspring. I’m not upset about my daughter Rachel’s…

A…A…Achoo!!

I’ve just finished a very simple, but satisfying, breakfast of marmite on toast. It’s was by no stretch of the imagination a culinary masterpiece; such as the opulent fare that would grace the recipe books of Jamie Oliver, James Martin or Oasis lead singer Liam Gallagher. However, I found those two toasted pieces of bread…

Soliloquy From The Sofa

As I commence this literary offering, I’m sitting in situ of the living room sofa in my modest three-bedroomed abode in east Leeds. The settee in question is a brown leather three-seater; which I find comfortable but my wife thinks has seen better days…… One of them was yesterday when it didn’t have my fat…

Alas Poor Yorick!…. He’s Done His Tibia, Boss!

“Break a leg!” – Unorthodox words of support aimed at thespians prior to them taking the stage. A superstition adopted after it was deemed to be bad luck to wish an actor “Good luck!” pre-performance. Traditional well meaning felicitations utilised to bode ‘luvvies’ a successful performance. Although ‘break a leg’ is used exclusively within the theatre world,…

Unreliable Tales From The Pavilion

Last year I wrote a trilogy of unreliable junior cricket memories while playing for Gateshead Fell Cricket Club (GFCC) in the late 1970’s, early 1980’s. This trinity of yarns were based on fact supplemented by several fictional elements, as is my literary want. GFCC Juniors – Class of ’80 Tales from ‘The Fell’ Scorebox –…

Opera Without Soap

This morning the Facebook ‘On This Day’ app reminded me that two years ago today I received a ticket for The Marriage of Figaro…….. The unexpected jogging of my memory bringing to mind my elation upon receipt of this item of post. After all you can’t beat a good wedding, can you? I’d chosen to attend this Mozart written opera production after savouring my first…

Smoking Like A Fish

I wrote recently of my scepticism surrounding old wives tales. A mini diatribe not backed on any scientific fact, moreover sneering conclusions born from my ingrained middle-age cynicism. During that narrative, I carelessly omitted to touch on the comedic value of these superstitious folk tales, especially when misquoted. I’m alluding to mixed metaphors and idioms, which are inherently funny when delivered incorrectly. I have…

After ‘Bat Outta Hell’, Take The Second Exit

During a recent discussion about journey distances, an old acquaintance asked me how far my east Leeds residence was from my mother’s Wakefield domicile. As I’ve never been inquisitive enough to record the exact mileage, it was a question I couldn’t answer with any real accuracy. This being the case, I responded with the tongue-in-cheek quip “If you drive a steady…

Old Wives Tales – Discuss!

Yesterday I wrote of all things philosophy. Well not all things, I mainly conveyed the fictional philosophical words of wisdom by an equally fictional Frenchman named Aidan Le Torche. Today I want to touch upon the lower end of philosophy market – old wives tales. Folklore which, depending on your inclination, are advocacies of gospel truth or…