Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

Off The Wall Essays From Deep Within A Capricious Mind

Archive for January 2018

Rendezvous With The Son & Heir

Yesterday, I ventured east on the A64 to the York Designer Outlet where I met up with my twentysomething son Jonny. An amiable young man, the fact he’s occasionally prepared to read my narratives, when his sister steadfastly refuses, contribute to making the Leeds lad my favoured offspring. I’m not upset about my daughter Rachel’s stance, but she won’t be laughing (rather like her brother reading my monologues) when my […]

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I’ve just finished a very simple, but satisfying, breakfast of marmite on toast. It’s was by no stretch of the imagination a culinary masterpiece; such as the opulent fare that would grace the recipe books of Jamie Oliver, James Martin or Oasis lead singer Liam Gallagher. However, I found those two toasted pieces of bread smothered with vegemite a warming comfort food, meant my day started contentedly. Liam Gallagher (below) […]

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Soliloquy From The Sofa

As I commence this literary offering, I’m sitting in situ of the living room sofa in my modest three-bedroomed abode in east Leeds. The settee in question is a brown leather three-seater; which I find comfortable but my wife thinks has seen better days…… One of them was yesterday when it didn’t have my fat backside perched on it! In the background on TV, YouTube is rendering the screen with […]

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Alas Poor Yorick!…. He’s Done His Tibia, Boss!

“Break a leg!” – Unorthodox words of support aimed at thespians prior to them taking the stage. A superstition adopted after it was deemed to be bad luck to wish an actor “Good luck!” pre-performance. Traditional well meaning felicitations utilised to bode ‘luvvies’ a successful performance. Although ‘break a leg’ is used exclusively within the theatre world, I recently mused that the expression wouldn’t have been out of place in the tough […]

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Unreliable Tales From The Pavilion

Last year I wrote a trilogy of unreliable junior cricket memories while playing for Gateshead Fell Cricket Club (GFCC) in the late 1970’s, early 1980’s. This trinity of yarns were based on fact supplemented by several fictional elements, as is my literary want. GFCC Juniors – Class of ’80 Tales from ‘The Fell’ Scorebox – Part 1 Tales from ‘The Fell’ Scorebox – Part 2 Recently I was encouraged to […]

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Opera Without Soap

This morning the Facebook ‘On This Day’ app reminded me that two years ago today I received a ticket for The Marriage of Figaro…….. The unexpected jogging of my memory bringing to mind my elation upon receipt of this item of post. After all you can’t beat a good wedding, can you? I’d chosen to attend this Mozart written opera production after savouring my first experience of the music genre in 2014. A night I counted myself among the audience of La Boheme […]

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Smoking Like A Fish

I wrote recently of my scepticism surrounding old wives tales. A mini diatribe not backed on any scientific fact, moreover sneering conclusions born from my ingrained middle-age cynicism. During that narrative, I carelessly omitted to touch on the comedic value of these superstitious folk tales, especially when misquoted. I’m alluding to mixed metaphors and idioms, which are inherently funny when delivered incorrectly. I have an acquaintance who can be relied upon to regularly amuse with incorrectly delivered adages, which never […]

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