Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

Off The Wall Essays From Deep Within A Capricious Mind

Tag Archive for ‘beard’


As undertaken around a month ago, I’m contemplating ridding myself of facial hair. This a consequence of my visage fluff starting to itch like hell. Not to mention my wife recently liken me to Catweazle’s scruffier brother……. And that was before I’d even grown this full beard! Pretentiously, I see my increased facial hirsuteness as a maverick move mirroring the fashion of many who for generations have shared my creative […]

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Ten Years Younger?

Yesterday evening I decided to remove my beard. Consequently, for first time in many months I’m smooth of visage whilst I wander the avenues and alleyways of Leeds 15….. An unremarkable feat, admittedly, but if you bear with me I’ll explain why I felt moved to mention it. Incidentally, when relaying I’ve removed my beard I’m referring to shaving hair follicles from my ruddied face. Not that I’d taken the […]

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Caffeine Overload Continued

Friday 6th April (Part Two) – I’ve arrived in Newcastle. With two hours to kill before I meet my brother Ian, I’m yet again Starbucks in situ, Americano with milk nestling in front of me. Opposite from the café is the imposing stone building which, amongst other functions, is the entrance to Newcastle Central train station. As would be expected from the coffee house franchise, the décor, ordering process and […]

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Chaste Paper & Beard Conundrums

This morning, I’m being taunted by the blank white page, as it gawps back from my poorly performing laptop. My frustration of suffering writers block exacerbated by the latency of my computer. Its responses so slow that the ‘live’ national BBC news being streamed to my screen is last Sundays! Sensing this doubly sourced frustration, the blank Word document appears to smugly goad me. If this word processing application could speak, I imagine its words would be along […]

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Less Salubrious Family Traditions

I’m contemplating ridding myself of facial hair. It’s started to itch like hell and my wife recently liken me to Catweazle’s scruffier brother; and that was before I’d even grown this full beard. I personally see my increased facial hirsuteness as the unconventional move taken by lots of creative individuals. A strategy displaying to your peers that you don’t conform to the ideology of the masses (apart from watching Corrie and anything […]

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Facial Hair Conundrums

After managing to prise my eyes open with an invigorating visage wash this morning, I caught sight of my face in the bathroom mirror during the subsequent drying process. Although an amalgamation of Shield soap and warm water had returned the use of my eyelids, it was clear that the guy looking back was not in a state of full alertness. If truth be told he probably hasn’t been for around six years; the effects […]

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Tonight Matthew I’m Gonna Be….

“Ok then sir, what’s it to be? A beard trim or a full cutthroat shave?” I was asked by the guy with the ruddy complexion in sinister gravelled tones. There was something deeply unsettling about the way he spoke, not to mention the haphazard manner I’d seen him wielded the razor sharp tools of his trade. There was no way I was going to let this heavy handed bloke anywhere […]

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