Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

Off The Wall Essays From Deep Within A Capricious Mind

fiction

Getting My Goat

Despite protestations to the contrary by the outside temperature gauge on my car, today’s external ambience is bitingly cold. The wind chill messing with the gauge’s veracity; the latter’s climatic inaccuracy borne from negation of breeze condition influences from its encasing within the car’s chassis. This is today’s second essay. This additional prose an infrequent event, but with some spare time on my hands, I’ve decided to spend it in a portal […]

Continue Reading →

Filling Good

Last summer’s two week stay in the Betty Ford Clinic (BFC), where a strict regime of good diet, drinking more water than’s held in place by the Hoover Dam and counselling, resulted in me departing it’s buildings and grounds with my Haribo gummy sweet addiction in check. Yours truly’s favourable outcome consequential of a fortnight’s focus, discipline and stoicism on my part. This addiction bringing with it misery, pain and […]

Continue Reading →

The Best Policy?

An early lesson of enlightenment during my fledgling years was exposure to the adage ‘Honesty is the best policy’. Well-meaning moral guidance from a mentor whom I’m currently unable to recall. It was, though, likely to have been brought to my attention either by my parents, Mrs Edwards (my first teacher at Oakfield Infant School), or a character on children’s TV. If it turns out to be the latter, the […]

Continue Reading →

Gore Blimey, Mate!

As I await the diminishing of it’s boiling water temperature to avoid scalding, my coffee house Americano with semi-skimmed milk currently sits tantalisingly in front of me. In desperate need of caffeine infusion, this wait undertaken with greater impatience than usual. An erratic overnight sleep resulting in a cranial numbness I’d imagine bears similarities to the stupefaction consequential of watching an episode of tabloid reality TV show Love Island. As […]

Continue Reading →

At The Peloton’s Rear

Today, yours truly’s exercise class of choice is the inaugural Studio Cycling session at a Leeds leisure centre. Not the intensive and deeply exerting spinning type of pedal work; moreover a gentle easing into the world of gymnasium cycle activity….. Or so I’m assured by the leisure centre operative with whom I spoke yesterday. At least. I think the conversation took place with a member of the centre’s staff. He’d […]

Continue Reading →

On The Road To My Horizon

Later this morning I’m scheduled to participate in a Pilates class; this event yours truly’s inaugural undertaking of this increasingly popular physical fitness system. I’ve played Pontius Pilate in a school play, but I don’t believe the exercise session I’ll shortly embark on is linked in any way to the Roman province of Judae’s fifth governor. I bloody hope not, anyway!…… I’m really not in the mood to spend my […]

Continue Reading →