As I commence today’s musings I’m ‘blessed’ to have the audio accompaniment of beeping car horns. This cacophony of sound emanating from the local Sainsburys supermarket parking lot; not a consequence of displeasure at me driving erratically while writing a blog at the wheel.

The culprit of the horn parping no doubt driven to his/her impatient and confrontational act by something trivial. The catalyst of this rage probably disenchantment at their progress being delayed by another drivers slow manoeuvring around the car park. Or maybe their anger exhibited as a result of being ‘cut up’ by Gregory the trolley collection operative.

I’m probably being overly sentimental here, but in my post-heart attack world of attempted noise and stress avoidance I long for an era where we dealt more calmly in situations where we’ve been slightly inconvenienced. Whatever happened to the adage ‘patience is a virtue’?

Is it wrong to hanker to return to that not so distant time when people’s existential self-entitlement was pitched at a reasonable level, subsequently allowing for sensible aspiration management? Is someone’s procrastination at the wheel really worth raising your blood pressure over?


Talking of which, that reminds me of an incident in the multi-story car park at St James Hospital a few years back. After an appointment with her oncologist, my wife Karen and me were in the process of leaving the parking lot when I was forced to halt behind a stationery car. This vehicle brought to a stop by a woman in her dotage’s snail-like reversing from this rented car stall.

As the old lady’s manoeuvring progressed at sloth pace the subsequent delay passed a duration the driver in front of me deemed acceptable. Consequently he commenced beeping aggressively at the dithering pensioner.

Eventually the old dear escaped from the clutches of parking space number 17. Prior to heading to the multi-story’s exit she felt moved to ‘feedback’ to the intolerant fellow who’d beeped at her. Subsequently, she lower the window of her drivers door and yelled a fairly strong expletive at the guy.

Call me immature but it was an incident that highly amusing. For me, the sight of a woman in her seventies yelling “F*** off!” at somebody is comedy gold……. Well, apart from when it’s my mum saying it to me when I turn up at her front door unannounced!….. Only kidding, my mother’s cursing never reaches the lofty plateau where the f-word resides.

The car horns have now gone silent in Colton Retail Park. Their presence not currently required by the impatient driver(s) until the next time someone incurs their wrath. Situations like an Argos customer walking out in front of them without looking; or the need to undertake an emergency stop to avoid hitting a guy chasing an escaped chinchilla from Pets At Home.

As I concluded the above paragraph the ‘melodic beauty’ of a horn beeping once again emanated from Colton Retail Park. Like the earlier parping incident, I’ve absolutely no idea what was the catalyst to the drivers disenchantment.

During my walk up to the retail park later this afternoon, though, I’ll keep my eyes peeled for a tyre flattened chinchilla!