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Harry’s Shoehorn Emporium – Blog #11

Yesterday I went to a Rugby League game between Castleford Tigers and Leeds Rhinos. I had only been in the ground about ten mins when the dreaded announcement came over the tannoy for me to move my car as it was causing an obstruction. This came as a big surprise as I was parked outside my house as I’d gone in a taxi! …. The extremes Karen goes to to get the flipping car shifted so she can get the lawnmower out !
One thing that often amuses me when reading a match programme for rugby and football are some of the player sponsors. Yesterday was no different. They are generally local companies or people who either love their club, seeing their name in the programme or both! Amongst the sponsors were a potato company, a firm that mend hoses and an old woman with a beard! I said to my daughter I might sponsor a player for a laugh and make up a ridiculous business name like ‘Harry’s Shoehorn & Cheese Emporium’ which will get in the programme and be read out when the team is announced! ………. No, she didn’t laugh either! You’re a tough audience. I might have to introduce canned laughter onto this website for my blogs! …. Either that or write funnier stuff!
It was interesting to hear that with the emergence in the recent weeks of the British Porn Party, and no current outright favourite to win the general election, it is predicted we could end up with a well hung parliament on May 7th!
Whilst walking through town earlier I accidentally missed the litter bin when I discarded my banana skin. Karen turned to me and in a very serious manner said “You best pick that up as I don’t what an old person to slip on it!” ….. I shared her sentiments but I have to say I picked it up because I didn’t want anyone to slip on it not just old people!
They say that all new born babies look like Winston Churchill. I’ve just read that strangely Winston Churchill didn’t! Apparently, he looked like actress/singer Carmen Miranda when he was delivered! …… The fruit on the head must have made the labour even more excruciating than normal!
In the last four and a bit years Karen and I have spent endless hours in GPs, Oncologists, Neurologists and Optather …. Optemet…….. eeeeerrrrr Eye specialists. They are soul destroying places to spend your time. However, have led to many interesting experiences whilst people watching. Recently, there was the incident when an elderly Asian couple sat opposite us at the CT Scanning section at St James Hospital. The elderly man told the nurse he’d translate to his wife (who was the patient) as she couldn’t speak English. The nurse handed him a jug of water saying to the man that prior to his wife’s scan she needed to drink the contents little and often and for her not to go to the toilet until her scan had finished. The old man nodded in acknowledgement and took the jug and cup from the nurse who returned to her office. The old man then proceeded to drink the water himself instead of his wife and to exacerbate this she went to toilet just prior to the scan! There was also a recent instance of a woman arguing loudly in a Neurology waiting room with a family member who was in jail at the other end of the phone! The classiest chat I’ll probably ever get to hear! Right, I’m off to polish the sofa with my backside!!

Categories: Blogs

Gary Strachan

2 kids who've flown the nest, 1 wife whose flown with Jet2. Born at a young age in 1960's Leeds, the author became interested in the literary life when his wife bought him a dog. Having an allergy to dogs, he swapped it for a typewriter. Being unable to train the typewriter to retrieve tennis balls, he reluctantly turned to writing...... Website -

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