Tory Election Hopes Hit After Cameron Adopts Mark Thatcher

Dismayed members of the Tory Cabinet were left despondent today after David Cameron advised them that he had adopted Mark Thatcher. Insiders have spoken about how senior Tory officials, who knew their chances of re-election were on a knife edge, have now resigned themselves to a real struggle to triumph in the General  Election.

Thatcher, who brought years of embarrassment to his mother, and ex-Prime Minister, Margaret was found by Cameron in a cupboard under the stairs inside 10 Downing Street last week. Apparently, it was the naughty cupboard that his mother used to banish him to when she resided there. “She sent him there in 1990 just prior to her departure, and she forgot about letting him out when she left!” an aide advised incredulously. “So he has resided in there since, apart from the odd escape to steal some food from the kitchen and use the toilet during the night.” he added.

Cameron, apparently, became aware of Thatcher’s existence in the cupboard last week when he thought the strange scratching noises emanating from the cupboard were vermin. He called in Rentokil, and when they arrived they got an almighty shock when Thatcher appeared, sad eyed, dishevelled, clothes in rags and hungry. That surprise, though, paled into insignificance to the one Thatcher got when he was told that it was now 2015 and his mum wasn’t PM anymore! The businessman’s first words to Cameron were to ask if Harold was still alive in the Aussie soap ‘Neighbours’.

The Prime Minister, who was a big fan of his late mother, took pity and has adopted him on the grounds that he stays well away from the press and the Sudan.

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