Foiled

Yesterday, while strolling the avenues and alleyways of this fair metropolis. I bumped into an old acquaintance; a keen amateur runner who goes by the nickname Frank Microwave-Oven. My pal’s unlikely pseudonym borne from him receiving static electric shocks when coming into contact with post-race foil blankets.. The covers aimed at keeping athletes warm at... Continue Reading →

True or False Christmas Quiz – Part Two

Last week yours truly participated in an online Christmas quiz with buddies from Gateshead. My contribution to this entertaining clambake was a round of intentionally absurd 'True or False' questions. Fictional catechisms not to be taken seriously and written with an intention to raise a smile from my follow participants. Thankfully, I achieved my goal.... Continue Reading →

Xmas Traditions Past

This morning, as I tentatively peeled back door 10 of a homemade advent calendar gifted by my partner Sarah, yours truly was greeted by the word ‘Bollocks’. Her mischievous cardboard festive trinket bearing 24 curse words, each carefully chosen from my beau’s vast swearing vocabulary. These off-colour greetings hidden behind numbered doors haphazardly carved on... Continue Reading →

The Tramp

I’ve not written much of late. For no apparent reason my mood has been low; draining any motivation to indulge in literary projects.  Perversely, annoyance at myself for being in a low spirits for no reason has sent my mood even lower. It has got so bad, yesterday evening GJ Strachan had a word with... Continue Reading →

Suffering For My Art

A phalanx of baristas and customers seeking a caffeine hit surround me as I commence this missive. A south Leeds retail centre’s café affording me a domain to place my buttocks, rehydrate and stir whatever creative juice pool I can muster. After tweaking my back yesterday afternoon, this journaling accompanied by intermittent lumbar spasms. Stretching... Continue Reading →

The Picnic

Looking down, it felt like this working-class northern lad had arrived. His eyes drawn to a multicoloured hippy picnic blanket in front of him; the rug laden with a wonderful smorgasbord procured from a Fortnum & Mason festival stall.  His partner belying her usual similar lack of culture by swooning at the champagne feast. Her... Continue Reading →

Literary Therapy

Sunlight sneaks through an adjacent window, kissing the upper petals of the white orchid adorning the features dusty sill.  On a nearby kitchen table perches a middle-aged man, laptop afore him. Erratic of mood, he scans his immediate indoor landscape. Blue eyes darting between a full-size sculpture of a horse’s head, a three-dimensional hanging scooter... Continue Reading →

The Explorers

Afternoon on the last Tuesday of March 2024 – Two intrepid brothers set off in a campervan into the unknown. Forecasts of cold temperatures and unforgiving precipitation not deterring the latter-day Scott and Shackleton from embarking on their voyage north.  And why would upcoming intemperate weather dent their fortitude; after all, they had a furry... Continue Reading →

On Mother’s Day Baht’Mum

For fifty plus springtides the middle Sunday in March afforded my siblings (Ian, Helen) and me opportunity to bestow a well-earned thank you to our much-loved mum (Maggie). A warm, funny, caring, and loving parent who, along with our equally admirable father, ensured our fledgling years were awash with encouragement, positivity, laughter, and security. The... Continue Reading →

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