Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

Off The Wall Essays From Deep Within A Capricious Mind

Tag Archive for ‘meteorology’

A Pain In The Water Butt

This morning, there’s a spherical amber vision just about identifiable through West Yorkshire’s hazy cloud cover. This sight, scarcely witnessed of late courtesy of the seemingly endless attendance of foreboding nimbus aerosols, a token Zeusian gesture to remind UK citizens we’re not hallucinating. It is indeed summertime! The god of the skies, perhaps sending us a timely reminder that “Yes, I know it’s summer and I’ve no problem furnishing you […]

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Faces in the Clouds

This morning I’m looking out from my recuperative pit at cloud formations in the east Leeds sky. Groupings of altostratus forms, each uniquely shaping, some of which to my mind’s eye bear a remarkable resemblance to people and/or objects. For instance, currently through the middle part of the bedroom window there’s a cloud shaping of The Simpson’s power plant boss Montgomery Burns’ head. His distinctive long woodpecker beak nose pointing […]

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Boss Hogg Day

The 2nd February is Groundhog Day. An occasion citizen’s of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, observe the behaviour of local groundhogs as they emerge from their burrows. In particular their reactions to that day’s meteorological conditions. Folklore decreeing:- If it’s cloudy on first leaving their burrows spring will arrive before the vernal equinox. If it’s sunny then the groundhog will retreat into the burrow after seeing its shadow. Consequently, wintry conditions will prevail […]

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Weather Sucks; Wetherspoons

Tuesday 17th April – Yesterdays rocketing temperatures in West Yorkshire meant I was able to fulfil my much awaited re-entry into the world of horticultural maintenance. Solar rays bequeathing us warmth hitherto unexperienced in 2018. Heat of such ferocity if you sat close enough to a fire pit it was just about bearable enough to sit at the patio table. That being said, coats or excessive bodily hirsuteness were still […]

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Rhyming Conundrums

Uninvited, unexpected, unwelcome and under our skin, heavy snow is once again ‘gracing’ the populace of West Yorkshire. Woken by my spouse Karen’s singing as she ironed, this morning I jumped out of bed to be greeted yet again by a carpet of snowflakes…… It’s no good, I’m going to have to get that flaming roof fixed! I’ll also have to request the missus stops ironing in my bedroom…… Or, […]

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Shaking of the Snow Globe

Sitting here surveying my garden through an icicle framed bay window, the scene of snowflakes laying gently on a chaste white lawn plays out in front of me. Exuding a serenity akin to witnessing the aftermath of a vigorously shaken snow globe, this sight bestows cathartic qualities of calm and silence. An inner tranquillity that will remain present in my soul until my OCD gets awoken from it’s rare slumber. […]

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Beast From The East

According to meteorologists and a local pensioner’s bunions, the icy temperatures strangling the UK show no sign of relenting in the coming days. Originating in Scandinavia and dubbed the ‘Beast from the East’, this meteorological front is currently acquiring more column inches than any other news story. Apart, that is, from Saturday’s English rugby defeat at the hands of Scotland, Arsenal football club’s woeful League Cup final performance yesterday; the […]

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