Two weeks into the Trump presidency and it’s all kicking off stateside. The Shitkicker King taking little time to become schoolground bully, attempting to steal Canada, Greenland, and Panama’s lunch money. As a non-American I’d love to watch these scenes across the pond with indifference. Let the red necks, 30-year-old virgins, gun freaks, and ill-educated... Continue Reading →
Would I Lie To You?
In one of his trademark offbeat observations on the BBC TV gameshow ‘Would I Lie To You?”, likeable funny man Bob Mortimer claimed the distant memories he was about to recount were like “Fingerprints on an abandoned handrail.” This humorous, but idiosyncratic, observation describing how he only had vague memories of the absurd yarn he... Continue Reading →
Boss Hogg Day!!
Today is Groundhog Day. In places like Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, people wait with baited breath, while observing how groundhogs react to today's meteorological conditions, as they emerge from their burrows........ The Pennsylvanians will also wait with baited breath to see if I spell Punxsutawney correctly! Folklore decrees that the following applies when the groundhog first emerges... Continue Reading →
Open Mic – Part Four
Yesterday evening I attended an Open Mic evening at a chic Harrogate eatery. To clarify, an Open Mic night isn't attending a event to be entertained by a candid fellow called Michael... Unless, of course, the amateur turn is a forthright chap called Michael... In which case, you are attending an Open Mic evening presented... Continue Reading →
Stone The Crows
Scene – In a supermarket parking lot, a middle-aged man ambles past a trolley shelter towards the stores entrance. The fella distracted by a game he’s playing on his mobile device; a challenge he’s recently become addicted to. Carelessly not looking ahead, he foolishly introduces the jeopardy of being mowed down by a vehicle (or... Continue Reading →
True or False Christmas Quiz – Part Two
Last week yours truly participated in an online Christmas quiz with buddies from Gateshead. My contribution to this entertaining clambake was a round of intentionally absurd 'True or False' questions. Fictional catechisms not to be taken seriously and written with an intention to raise a smile from my follow participants. Thankfully, I achieved my goal.... Continue Reading →
Xmas Traditions Past
This morning, as I tentatively peeled back door 10 of a homemade advent calendar gifted by my partner Sarah, yours truly was greeted by the word ‘Bollocks’. Her mischievous cardboard festive trinket bearing 24 curse words, each carefully chosen from my beau’s vast swearing vocabulary. These off-colour greetings hidden behind numbered doors haphazardly carved on... Continue Reading →
In The Eye of The Storm
It was a Saturday lunchtime. Two bearded men, both scarlet of face, both baring ready smiles stand outside a Wakefield charity shop. One man adorns a red suit/hat with white fur edging: his facial hair a similar albumen coloured hue. The other fella also standing adjacent to Santa’s outdoor grotto dons a khaki Superdry branded... Continue Reading →
Yuletide Ghosts
Yuletide preparations continue apace in chez Strachan. With nineteen more sleeps until St Nick breaks into my apartment with an immunity afforded from his benevolence, my pre-yuletide plans are well placed. Gifts are purchased, and arrangements to distribute the presents have been made. Additionally, a kind invite from friends to celebrate Christmas Day with them mean I’m... Continue Reading →