Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred
Whimsical observations from deep within an erratic mind
Scene – In a supermarket parking lot, a middle-aged man ambles past a trolley shelter towards the stores entrance. The fella distracted by a game he’s playing on his mobile device; a challenge he’s recently become addicted to. Carelessly not looking ahead, he foolishly introduces the jeopardy of being mowed down by a vehicle (or... Continue Reading →
Last week yours truly participated in an online Christmas quiz with buddies from Gateshead. My contribution to this entertaining clambake was a round of intentionally absurd 'True or False' questions. Fictional catechisms not to be taken seriously and written with an intention to raise a smile from my follow participants. Thankfully, I achieved my goal.... Continue Reading →
This morning, as I tentatively peeled back door 10 of a homemade advent calendar gifted by my partner Sarah, yours truly was greeted by the word ‘Bollocks’. Her mischievous cardboard festive trinket bearing 24 curse words, each carefully chosen from my beau’s vast swearing vocabulary. These off-colour greetings hidden behind numbered doors haphazardly carved on... Continue Reading →
It was a Saturday lunchtime. Two bearded men, both scarlet of face, both baring ready smiles stand outside a Wakefield charity shop. One man adorns a red suit/hat with white fur edging: his facial hair a similar albumen coloured hue. The other fella also standing adjacent to Santa’s outdoor grotto dons a khaki Superdry branded... Continue Reading →
Yuletide preparations continue apace in chez Strachan. With nineteen more sleeps until St Nick breaks into my apartment with an immunity afforded from his benevolence, my pre-yuletide plans are well placed. Gifts are purchased, and arrangements to distribute the presents have been made. Additionally, a kind invite from friends to celebrate Christmas Day with them mean I’m... Continue Reading →
As it's the festive season, I enclose a series of intentionally absurd Christmas quiz questions. These fictional 'True or False' catechisms are written purely for comedic value; consequently, they should not be viewed as factual fare... The 'answers' are shown below in bold:- True or False - Last year my brother asked for Christmas gifts... Continue Reading →
It’s weeks since I sat in front of my laptop, defiling the chaste white document in front of me with offbeat flights of fancy and whimsical folly. Voluntary collections for the Royal British Legion and two weeks working as an exam invigilator claiming time I ordinarily put aside for waxing lyrical. The alma mater where... Continue Reading →
With today being the 5th November I thought I’d wax lyrical about the Gunpowder Plot. This narrative a parody biography about Guy Fawkes’ early adult years, leading up to the event where he gained infamy. So, if you’re sitting comfortably, I will begin… Well, actually, even if you’re not sitting comfortably a) I told you... Continue Reading →
It was an overnight scene which for several minutes flummoxed its main protagonist. In his newly woken state, the unexpected vision causing his recently focussed eyes to ponder whether a) he was still in the throes of a dream, or b) he’d woken from slumber with newfound powers of time travel. To add context to... Continue Reading →