Pain

I’ve been inflicted with back pain since after suffering a freak accident erecting my campervan awning last Friday. To clarify, freak accident relates to the event causing the injury, not that the mishap happened to somebody who’s a freak… Although then again!

Yours truly royally ricking my lower lumbar area whilst inflating the camping accessory’s supporting legs with a hand bump. This twinge of a nerve/muscle meaning I spent the weekend away with my partner, Sarah, and friends walking as though I’d defecated myself. Never a good look on a campsite where you’ve a bit of a stroll to reach the bathroom.

My injury tarnishing the enchantment of my weekend outdoor surroundings; situated by a pleasant pondside at a North Yorkshire campsite. 

Don’t get me wrong I still had an enjoyable time, but GJ Strachan is never in the best of fettle when incapacitated. Especially when not sleeping on a proper mattress for two nights, and every twist and turn causes a pain induced yelp.

The timing of the incident could not have been worse, in that we had just arrived onsite; meaning there was a raft of accessories to set up before a thirst-quenching beer could be quaffed. Tasks I could either not now do, or had to be undertaken in severe discomfort.

Sarah and I arrived at the sun-drenched Stamford Bridge campsite in good spirits. She was full of beans after finishing work at midday, and yours truly was chuffed after taking advantage of a ‘3 for the price of 2’ marmite crisp offer.

Apart from a brief delay due to a A64 contraflow system, we’d had a decent journey east from our West Yorkshire starting point. In my then pain free state, I chatted merrily about my excitement I’d, at last, be able to use a new set of pegs on the trip. Not to mention, the interesting discoveries I’d made while studying my newfound love of soil science.

I discussed some interesting stuff as well, although Sarah would probably beg to differ. Coming to think of it, as she appeared to be nodding off at the wheel when I listed plants which thrive in acidic soil, she most definitely would beg to differ… Even her enchanting dog Zella pretended to be asleep at that juncture. 

Anyhow, about 15 minutes after arrival, with newly ricked back, my spirits were markedly lower. My decision to walk back to the reception to pay for our booking, despite Sarah offering to take the 500-metre stroll, a particularly foolhardy move. The twinges of soreness experienced during the short meander meaning I had to stop every 100-metres, or so, to bend and release some pressure on the afflicted area. 

As a result, my progress was slower than a sloth with a sumo wrestler on its back while dragging an anvil. My wander to the reception so stress inducing, I almost rang for a taxi (or even an ambulance) to take me the half a kilometre back to my campervan. 

The receptionist, seeing I was in real trouble when stood upright, asked if I’d like the groundsman to run me back on his buggy. However, concluding the mental pain from Sarah’s piss taking if returning on a buggy outweighed any physical pain of returning on foot, the kind gesture was declined.   

Despite friends kindly providing me with paracetamol and a Deep Heat rollerball to diminish pain levels, it’s got to be said this health setback impaired my enjoyment levels. Even my usual therapeutic chums of beer and wine struggled to raise my spirits. Irk borne not so much from the back discomfort, moreover frustration at being incapacitated for the whole of a much longed-for weekend away.

Five days on and I am still sore, but at least I’ve the comfort of a proper mattress which means I can at least sleep. Also, if I don’t eat them on horseback, I’m now pain-free enough to properly enjoy the three Marmite crisp multipacks purchased as last weekend’s go to snack. 

So, what lessons has this incident taught me? Well, firstly I should invest in an electric pump for the awning. Also, I must never forget when I cannot stand upright, even a 500-metre walk is as foolhardy as using a sprig of lucky heather as an effective form of contraception.