In my last blog I conveyed various yarns of a recent trip to Northumberland. What I didn’t explain is why I was up there. It was my way of keeping you in suspense! … What do you mean you’re really not that interested?

Well I’m going to tell you anyway! …… Come back! Come back! … Hopefully it’ll be worth it!

Karen and I travelled up to Northumberland for the wedding of friends at the 18th century country home Newton Hall, in Newton. A picturesque location, not far from Alnwick, but not that near Penzance or Brazil…….. That’s for info if you live in Brazil or Penzance and fancied it for your wedding venue.

The excellent venue – Newton Hall

At this beautiful venue there was a heady mix of love, violence, extortion and guns……… Oh sorry, I’m getting it mixed up with the ‘Sopranos’ episode I watched last night.

Seriously though, it was a great weekend at a fantastic venue. If I was picky I wouldn’t have minded Marmite for my toast at breakfast, but I’d put that down as my issue not the hotels.

The wedding service was calm, with bespoke melancholic, romantic music and vows written by the bride and groom.

There was the occasionally period of silence. The first occasion was when the resplendent bride and her bridesmaids strolled down the aisle ….. It also went quiet at around 1.30pm, as the guests sat open mouthed when my brother Ian informed the massed ranks he wasn’t going to start drinking until 7pm!

Ian and I with our ladies …. When this picture was taken, our Ian is thinking “Bloody hell is it not 7pm yet?”

During the humorous vows he’d penned himself Tim, the groom, included one promising to protect Michelle and his two young boys from zombie attack …… A noble promise to his new bride, delivered with intent and amazing composure, especially when you bear in mind he was coughing up a fur ball at the time.

During the evening I had was the victim of a disturbing experience, when for a brief time during the evening I turned into a silhouette whilst talking to my brother. It didn’t last long but it sure as hell freaked me out.

I’m assuming it was some sort of reaction from mixing my medication with alcohol. Although, coming to think of it I’d be a permanent silhouette if that was the case.

The picture below captured me during my silhouette phase! (top right)

Anyway, apart from turning into a silhouette it was a thoroughly enjoyable weekend.….. Thanks and good luck to Tim and Michelle …….. And remember that zombie promise, Tim.