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Grandad

A couple of days back a mate in Gateshead announced on social media he’d become a grandad. Witnessing this posting led me to post a tribute YouTube video on my buddy’s timeline showing a recording of Dad’s Army actor Clive Dunn’s 1970’s novelty single ‘Grandad’. A misguided action on my […]

Wherever I Lay My Sowester (That’s My Home)

This morning, I’m afflicted by an ordinarily infrequent case of writers block. A rare creative imposter which I’m currently unable to vanquish, despite sitting in a White Rose Centre coffee house indulging in a spot of people watching. A pastime which ordinarily manifests ideas aplenty, but thus far hasn’t provided […]

Literary Spirits

No network connection at my local Costa has deprived me of access to the editing facility on my website writesaidfred.org . A frustrating event, although one of minimal inconvenience when taking into account the existential detritus I ordinarily contend with. That being said, irritatingly it’s yet another recent example of […]

Ask Not What Your…..

Tomorrow is green bin day in Leeds 15. I’m aware that detail is of (a) no use if you don’t live in the LS15 postcode area, and (b) not that interesting even if you do; however I really am struggling for a blog topic today. Inclusion of refuse collection information […]

String Vesti La Giubba

“I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.” A trademark self-deprecating one-liner from late wall-eyed US comedian Rodney Dangerfield. Just one of a barrage of quips in his quick-fire standup act, interspersed with the woe-is-me catchphrase “I don’t get no respect!” Although […]

“It’s Over To The Hatometer!!”

I’m writing this piece wearing a pair of earphones in what’s turned into a futile attempt to negate the sound from a daytime TV show my wife is currently viewing. Although the gogglebox’s volume is diminished slightly by the over the head speakers, I’m still able to hear Charlie Dimmock […]

Yearning To Stop The Gurning

Easter Monday – As I write, I’m plagued by jaw bone discomfort – A self inflicted facial injury, the consequence of my long-term grinding habit. As the act of grating the jaw makes me gurn, it’s a tick I thankfully only carry out in the privacy of my own home. […]

Smoking Like A Fish

I wrote recently of my scepticism surrounding old wives tales. A mini diatribe not backed on any scientific fact, moreover sneering conclusions born from my ingrained middle-age cynicism. During that narrative, I carelessly omitted to touch on the comedic value of these superstitious folk tales, especially when misquoted. I’m alluding to mixed metaphors and idioms, which are inherently […]

Don’t Panic!

On the 23rd December Panic Saturday will be upon us. A recent inclusion in the festive calendar, I have it on good authority it’s the moniker bestowed upon the last Saturday before Christmas Day. A godforsaken few hours in retail purgatory, that would be worthy of entry in a contemporary re-write of […]