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The Most Wonderful Time…..

December’s arrived! Consequently, Joe and Josephine Public have reached a juncture whereby, without fear of repercussions from the Christmas tree police, they can now erect and decorate their Christmas tree. Additionally, as a consequence of commencing 2019’s final month, it won’t be long until the very same Mr & Mrs […]

Surreal Storyboards

Ordinarily, I don’t take my iPod when I go out for a wander. A reticence born from fears about ‘treating’ passers-by to over enthusiastic singing along with a Coldplay song, or whistling the brass section notes of a Phil Collins track from the album Face Value. Today, though, I took […]

March, Spring Altogether

I can’t believe the month of March is already upon us. We are now 1/6 of the way through the journey that is 2017. A relatively painless trip so far, apart from having to turn back home in January after Karen had inadvertently left the immersion on. As the cliché goes […]

Non-Quantitative Easing

Thankfully, the deeply uncomfortable back pain that was my unwanted companion yesterday has eased considerably today. Subsequently this morning, milder curse words accompany the less intense twinges I’m experiencing during sudden lumbar movements, in particular during the act of sitting and rising. As a result of this improvement, every time I […]

The Mystery Of The Drum Roll

I was intrigued the other day to hear the sound of a drum roll emanating from my neighbour Mike’s house. Sitting in an easy chair in my dining room, this resonance distracted from me from drafting the Executive Order for Donald Trump’s signature to put Leeds United back in the Premier League. That […]

“You Catch More Honey With Flies!”

In a narrative I wrote yesterday, I spoke of my overt scepticism surrounding the topic of old wives tales. During that mini diatribe, I carelessly omitted to touch on the comedic value of misquoted tales of folklore. As I find the mixed up delivery of these words of legend inherently funny, it was something I wanted to rectify in todays offering. An acquaintance […]

The Poor Man’s Alexa

This morning my wife and I had a sojourn west to the White Rose Shopping Centre (WR). It was an edifying venture to the premier retail mall in South Leeds (source – fictionalsoundbites.com ). It was at this retail utopia that, amongst other things, I inadvertently learnt the meaning of […]

Two Celtic Laments

Shortly before the festive period, my parents won a large joint of beef in their local Conservative club Christmas draw. It was only second prize, but they deemed it preferable to the first prize of tinsel wrapped souls of the working class. I had the honour of being present at my mater and […]

Dreaming of a Walter White Christmas

I didn’t watch much TV over the recently departed festive period. A paucity of broadcasting that would ‘float my boat’, such as a Breaking Bad Christmas special, meant the gogglebox and I were predominantly estranged over Yuletide and New Years. A Breaking Bad Christmas special, with Santa suit clad Walter […]