Disclaimer – This is a parody Christmas quiz written to raise a chuckle, a smile, or at the very least a contented burp. All questions are fictional, and all answers marked True are quite clearly not!!… So now you know!!
The following enquiries are penned in an absurd ‘True or False’ format. The aim is for you to guess how my capricious mind will mischeviously respond to the each question. Fictionalised answers are in bold… Good luck, you’ll need it!! 😉
- True or False – Last Christmas, my brother asked for gifts of an album by Spandau Ballet, another from a former X-Factor singer, along with a Mary Shelley book. Consequently, I gifted him Gold, Frankenstein, and Olly Murs? False – I bought him a pair of gluten free socks.
- True or False – Despite spending most of the year with his hand up a cow’s bottom, vet James Herriot found removing turkey giblets prior to cooking the festive bird icky? True
- True or False – Home Alone star MacCauley Culkin is often asked to speak about property protection by Group 4 Security? –True.
- True or False – As claimed in the heart-warming festive movie, Bing Crosby really did dream of a white Christmas? –False – His night visions were ordinarily filled with thoughts of co-star Rosemary Clooney’s breasts.
- True or False – Due to an over dependence on mulled wine, Rudolph the reindeer’s nose was more purple than red? – True
- True or False – On the video for song Christmas Lights, Coldplay drummer Will Champion drums with cinnamon sticks? False – William uses turkey legs to keep the beat during that particular festive lament.
- True or False – On Christmas Eve 2024, after hearing his red-nosed reindeer singing ‘All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth’, Santa briefly interrupted his Turkish deliveries to allow Rudolph time to undergo affordable dental surgery? – True
- True or False – No one called Carol has ever written a traditional Christmas carol? – False – Presenter Carol Vorderman wrote a refrain called ‘Have Yourself A Wonderful Maths Christmas’.
- True or False – When singer Chris Rea was driving home for Christmas he was three times over the drink/driving limit?False – His irresponsible chauffeur Bert Wheezer was the one who was three sheets to the wind.
- True or False – Celebrity gardener Alan Titchmarch cooks his Christmas turkey in a compost heap partially fuelled by chef Jamie Oliver’s veg peelings? False – They are Heston Blumental’s veg waste.
- True or False – Turkeys became the UK’s ‘go to’ Christmas Day meat in the early 20th century when cooks deemed them easier to slaughter than geese, who become incredible aggressive if you approach them with an axe? True
- True or False – During a cameo appearance in the movie Home Alone 2, serial liar Donald J Trump actually told the truth when giving directions to the Plaza hotel lobby? – True
- True or False – When sitting down for his festive dinner, Irish crooner Daniel O’Donnell wears all thirteen of the Xmas sweaters knitted for him by adoring fans? True
- True or False – Wearing too many sweaters on Christmas Day ordinarily causes Daniel O’Donnell to pass out with heat exhaustion halfway through his soup course? False – He normally expires while serving of the hors d’oeuvres
- True or False – In The 1980’s, Late British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher’s Xmas tree decorations were predominantly made up of her Cabinet’s detached testicles and the souls of the oppressed? True
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