Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

Off The Wall Essays From Deep Within A Capricious Mind

One Poor Idea Too Far – Blog #14

I received a call this morning to tell me I’ve been sacked from my job with a NHS think tank. This was set up to look at ways to raise additional revenue for the overstretched National Health Service. For some reason my idea of raising money by advertising the local kebab shop on the back of prescriptions was deemed as one rubbish idea too far! I was informed that it […]

Continue Reading →

My Kingdom For a Clothes Horse – Blog #13

This is my thirteenth blog. As that is deemed an unlucky number I am writing this with cloves of garlic around my neck! Yes, I know garlic isn’t supposed to bring you good luck, but it just might keep that bloody vampire who keeps distracting me away! —————————————————- There has been drama in the Strachan household this morning. Let me first set the scene by telling you that my wife […]

Continue Reading →

Harry’s Shoehorn Emporium – Blog #11

Yesterday I went to a Rugby League game between Castleford Tigers and Leeds Rhinos. I had only been in the ground about ten mins when the dreaded announcement came over the tannoy for me to move my car as it was causing an obstruction. This came as a big surprise as I was parked outside my house as I’d gone in a taxi! …. The extremes Karen goes to to […]

Continue Reading →

Rooney Unhappy England Kit Makes His Arse Look Big

fictional tale There may be trouble ahead for England Manager Roy Hodgson as it was revealed last night that his captain, and talisman, Wayne Rooney may quit international football. This follows a heated argument between the two over the new England kit ! It has emerged that the 29 year old Rooney is unhappy that the all white kit makes his “arse look big!” He says his wife Coleen claims […]

Continue Reading →

Tory Election Hopes Hit After Cameron Adopts Mark Thatcher

Dismayed members of the Tory Cabinet were left despondent today after David Cameron advised them that he had adopted Mark Thatcher. Insiders have spoken about how senior Tory officials, who knew their chances of re-election were on a knife edge, have now resigned themselves to a real struggle to triumph in the General  Election. Thatcher, who brought years of embarrassment to his mother, and ex-Prime Minister, Margaret was found by […]

Continue Reading →

Rough Journey – Blog #10

I have been chatting to my friend Joe today who has just had a bad flight back from Paphos in Cyprus. Joe is normally a very good flier but on this occasion he spent four hours feeling nauseous, angry, despondent and in a highly agitated state. I suppose that will teach him to pick ‘Jedward – The Autobiography’ as his inbound flight book to read! I think his health isn’t […]

Continue Reading →