Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

Off The Wall Essays From Deep Within A Capricious Mind

Rooney Unhappy England Kit Makes His Arse Look Big

fictional tale There may be trouble ahead for England Manager Roy Hodgson as it was revealed last night that his captain, and talisman, Wayne Rooney may quit international football. This follows a heated argument between the two over the new England kit ! It has emerged that the 29 year old Rooney is unhappy that the all white kit makes his “arse look big!” He says his wife Coleen claims […]

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Tory Election Hopes Hit After Cameron Adopts Mark Thatcher

Dismayed members of the Tory Cabinet were left despondent today after David Cameron advised them that he had adopted Mark Thatcher. Insiders have spoken about how senior Tory officials, who knew their chances of re-election were on a knife edge, have now resigned themselves to a real struggle to triumph in the General  Election. Thatcher, who brought years of embarrassment to his mother, and ex-Prime Minister, Margaret was found by […]

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Rough Journey – Blog #10

I have been chatting to my friend Joe today who has just had a bad flight back from Paphos in Cyprus. Joe is normally a very good flier but on this occasion he spent four hours feeling nauseous, angry, despondent and in a highly agitated state. I suppose that will teach him to pick ‘Jedward – The Autobiography’ as his inbound flight book to read! I think his health isn’t […]

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The Secret of a Window Cleaner – Blog #9

This is a fictional short story written for college. As you may have guessed this had to be on the subject of a window cleaners secret ……… When I was asked to write a short story on this topic the first thing it brought to mind a film from the 1970’s called ‘Confessions of a Window Cleaner’. It was a bawdy comedy in the style of the ‘Carry On’ genre […]

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My Kinda Town Hobbs Is! – Blog #8

This is a fictional short narrative written in the first person about a writer from Hobbs, New Mexico who has been tasked with writing about the towns rodeo history ………………… Francis Albert Sinatra once sang that Chicago was his kind of town. I’m not really sure why I’m telling you this as it’s not really relevant. It might come in handy, though, if you get asked it in a quiz […]

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Is that really Cheryl Cole’s phone number? – Blog #7

Everyday these days seems to be a day of celebration or acknowledgement of someone or something! Be it Grandparents Day, Auntie Maureen Day, My Shoes Are On Fire Day to name a few……. Ok I admit it I made the last two up utilising a modicum of artistic licence in an attempt to strengthen my argument! (which is lucky because I couldn’t find a card for either in Hallmark!). I […]

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