The apocalyptic sci-fi redolence hovering over existence in the wake of COVID-19 gets stronger by the day. Yesterday’s necessary escalation of restrictions to daily life arriving in the shape of governmental edicts; legislation decreeing none essential workers should only leave residences if/when absolutely necessary.

In the previous week my narratives have included how living with this pandemic evoked scenes from John Wyndham’s tome Day of the Triffids, and a 1970’s BBC TV drama titled Survivors. Both fictional yarns telling of human existence after huge loss of life globally.

These more severe restrictions of almost total lockdown in the UK have been necessary, though, due to the foolhardy behaviour of individuals who bring to mind the foolishness of the two numbskulls in the movie Dumb & Dumber (D&D).

Incidentally, despite UK prime minister Boris Johnson’s alarming similarity to actor Jeff Daniels (when he starred in hilarious celluloid offering anyhow), I’m not referring to BoJo, as I believe he’s nicknamed in some quarters by Britain’s electorate.

On reflection, perhaps my comparison of Dumb and Dumber to people ignoring advocacies of social distancing and large gatherings is unfair. After all, D&D’s idiocy came from the position of fictional slapstick humour, aimed at entertaining movie goers. There’s nothing at all humorous about the non-fictional stupidity of those refusing to heed critically important advice, aimed at halting the swiftness of COVID-19’s spread. People of whom I wrote more yesterday in my narrative Piers Pressure.

What have you been undertaking during self-isolation, Gary? One of the many voices in my head ask. A particular forgetful character of mine who’s the ability to remember a host of facts about 1970’s football, but not the reason why I’ve walked upstairs.

Well, while confined to barracks I’ve drawn up a list of small projects to concentrate the mind and exercise the body. Chores I commenced yesterday in the shape of tidying up my room, reshuffling wardrobes and garden maintenance. Along with the penning of the aforementioned blog Piers Pressure……. Now all I need to do is to find the bleeding list to remind me of todays chores!

I was moved to tidy my room after something my mum said last week; words which hinted she may not be 100% enamoured with the cleanliness of said chamber. I might’ve misread the message in mater’s observation; after all, Maggie is renowned for not always cutting to the chase when disenchanted. However, when she tersely told me “Can you tidy your bedroom you lazy bugger!….. It’s a right s**t hole!” I sensed all was not well, and a plan to restore domestic harmony was required.

If truth be told, she was right! Since leaving my marital home last July, I’ve had clothes, DVD’s, shoes and paperwork scattered all over the place. An arrangement that’d meant on numerous occasions I’d struggled to locate several items, along with my dignity! These aimless searches for stuff generally when my forgetful character held dominion.

Consequently, yesterday morning I removed all the aforementioned detritus from view, meaning now all my undies, socks and t-shirts reside in their own respective drawers. My other clothing hung neatly in the wardrobe.

Yours truly even took a shoe holder out of the garage to relocate at the foot of a bedroom cupboard, which now houses the shoes and trainers which for the last few months have laid strewn on my bedroom floor.

My mum was particularly impressed by the shoe holder idea….. However, she might rescind that praise when she next enters the garage and sees the shoes that formerly resided on the said holder are now scattered all over its floor!

Anyhow, I’m bringing this narrative to a conclusion, I’ve got a tick list of chores to locate. Stay safe troops!……. And if you can’t stay safe, stay the chuff away from me!! 😉