Gary Strachan – "Write" Said Fred

Off The Wall Essays From Deep Within A Capricious Mind

Archive for September 2019

Hair Yesterday, Gone Today!

In an event of laxness by yours truly, this morning I inadvertently reduced my four week beard to stubble. This grooming carelessness occurring during a planned trim of my overgrown facial hair using clippers adorning a number two guard. After the clippers first foray into my beard it was clear from the stubble length, when compared to the remaining beard, that I’d commenced the visage tidy up with razor bereft […]

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JD in HD

Yesterday, my East Ardsley abode (well my mum’s to be more accurate) saw the return of Mrs S senior from her week long holiday in Bridlington. Consequently, I’ve now returned to a life incorporating the old lady’s repeatedly asked enquiries, along with the home’s TV ‘graced’ with fueilletons. Soap operas which my sister Helen dubs as “Mum’s rubbish telly”. Like her daughter our mother Maggie is a bright, caring, funny lady. […]

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Impossible Dream

Deeming potentially life threatening rises in cholesterol, blood pressure and body fat as insufficient penance for a misspent younger years, god also feel the need to inflict trial by nasal hair upon the middle-aged male. These irritatingly difficult to cull nostril strands, requiring frequent grooming, a carbuncle on once bald nasal passages. High maintenance follicles whose unsightly nature automatically attract the eye of anyone within it’s close proximity. I reckon […]

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Speed 0

I’ve been sitting here in a south Leeds coffee house for around an hour and only just managed to commence today’s narrative. Admittedly this is a self-inflicted delay driven by having temporary access to free shopping centre wifi network connectivity which is far more performant than back in my East Ardsley abode. The faster response times giving me the opportunity to undertake more data intensive tasks as a priority. The […]

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Hombre

My laptop has just informed me that today’s ‘Word of the Day’ is hombre. I’m unsure of the source of this detail, or indeed the criteria for word selection, however I’m appreciative they’ve shared this information. After all, I’ll be quids in if I’m ever on TV’s Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and receive a million pound question of “What was ‘Word of the Day’ on Gary Strachan’s laptop on […]

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Man’s Best Friend?

Owners of canines often submit that a man’s best friend is his dog. However, I’d argue it’s a deeply flawed claim as my best friend is Eddie Fluet from Compton Street, Drighlington. Dog owners may counter this claim, making the observation I haven’t got a mutt, and if I did I’d be so enamoured with my pet Eddie would soon be number two in behind Rover in my buddy picking […]

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A Art Sin

Yesterday evening, alcohol fuelled and without inhibition, I heartily sang along to the Frank Sinatra refrains streaming to my bluetooth speaker from Apple Music……. If crooning while inebriated was good enough for Francis Albert then it’s good enough for me. Or to put it more concisely, you could say the music was streaming and I was steaming! Like hundreds who’ve tried to mimic Old Blue Eyes I didn’t, and never […]

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