I vacuumed my car interior this afternoon. With the vehicle’s dark grey upholstery and vacuum cleaner nozzle ordinarily like ships that pass in the night, I’m unsure whether it was me or my trusty old Vauxhall Astra most surprised by this spontaneous act.

“What’s the big deal, Strachan?!….. Removing dust and litter from the seats and floor wells is something I undertake every Sunday. A habitual task I partake after my nut roast, and prior to my weekly colonic irrigation.” I hear you in cry……. Or possibly not!

To which I’d counter, it is a big deal for me to enter into any activity that could be classed as giving TLC to my automobile. The last time I undertook this pastime my car very probably had a choke and the vacuum cleaner a bag.

That being said, I ‘pushed the boat out’ today with this tidying of it’s interior, giving the Astra a long overdue pamper day. My labour not only sprucing up the guts of vehicle, but also improving it’s overall ambience with a top of the range air freshener. An ‘all singing and dancing’ appliance with not just one scent infusion setting, but five.

If Carlsberg made car fragrances, this aura improvement device would probably be their blueprint. Providing such an alluring bouquet I may start sleeping in the car. That being said, if I don’t stop winding my wife up, I may end up having to sleep in their anyway.

It’s uplifting to sit in the driver’s seat of my automobile with the interior mirroring it’s pristine looks of eight years ago when I drove it from the showroom forecourt ……. Well, smelling redolent, with muck free foot wells and upholstery anyhow.

My normal penchant for neglecting my motor’s appearance isn’t borne from laziness, purely the fact I’ve never been overly bothered about any vehicle. A consequence of my only real requirement for any vehicle I’ve owned is reliability. It’s cosmetics low on my priority list for something that I buy to get me from A to B, not to turn heads.

All cars I’ve ever owned are well maintained mechanically, receiving a full service every twelve months. Neglecting the mechanics like I do it’s aesthetics would be reckless, endangering not just myself but family and fellow road users.

I have an unwritten understanding with my car, if it provides me with driving reliability in return if a Cliff Richard song starts playing on the radio I hastily change the station.

To add to the Astra’s pamper day it also received an external wash courtesy of five pleasant chaps hailing from eastern Europe, at a local hand wash site. A cheery bunch who, as they sponge washed and chamois leathered, brought to mind this of the following 1970’s classic song…….