The Pentagenarian Tree Ornaments

As a result of a visit to my parents for Sunday dinner, for the second day on the trot I’ve started my daily blog later than normal. Although, I suspect not much sleep will be lost on that less than interesting introduction!

With my wife Karen at her fragrant mum and dad’s for the weekend, only daughter Rachel and I ventured over to see Mally and Maggie (M&M). Karen arranged her weekend trip to exchange presents and receive an unwanted yearly indoctrination of negativity.

I hope she returns with the same lovingly thought out gifts as she brought back last year. Christmas 2015 saw the kids receive the gift of s*** advice from her mum and dad, and I was the recipient of a rare strain of dysentery. The only advantage of the unorthodox presents being they weren’t too heavy for Karen to carry on her train journey back.

This afternoon, Rachel and I paid back the warm welcome and splendid roast beef dinner from M&M by putting up and decorating their Christmas tree. Being competitive, I didn’t want Mally’s tree to look more striking than mine, so I deliberately made a slipshod effort of adding its baubles and lights.

When adding the trimmings to my tree, I spend ages attempting to achieve symmetry of both lights and decorations. With Mally’s 6ft artificial pine I was less meticulous both in the project planning and effort made.

To clarify, I’m not a spiteful person, I just want a more aesthetically pleasing tree than my parents……. Actually, thinking about it, that is fairly odious of me…… In fact thinking about it, am a really spiteful get after all!

I’m kidding of course, I’d go to the ends of the earth for them……. Although, I’ll need to get a troublesome wheel bearing on my car fixed first.


My dad normally puts his own tree up, however as he is currently in the middle of radiotherapy treatment the lad isn’t too well. It didn’t stop him helping us, though, bless him. Throughout the task of decorating, he directed us where to place the ornaments, providing branch locations for each bauble with GPS precision.

Some of the baubles Rachel and I added were purchased around 50 years ago, meaning they’ve seen my joyous childhood yuletides through to the present day. Middle aged festive times, where I don’t get quite as excited if I get a gift of a Leeds Utd Subbuteo team…….. At least I don’t think I would anyway!

For all my tongue in cheek remarks, the nature of Mally’s illness made it a poignant time adding the festive tree adornments of my childhood.

After all, these ornaments witnessed my boyhood excitement at the Christmas morning opening of numerous sporting board games, Leeds football kits, Oor Wullie annuals, 1970’s LP’s, Kerplunk and Allan Clarke sock tags.

Happy Christmas childhood moments all provided to me and my siblings courtesy of M&M.

On completion of our tree decorating, we retired into the dining room for a traditional Sunday dinner where Rachel and I ate twenty small Yorkshire pudding between us!……. Although, I’m not taking the rap for this act of gluttony, I only had two of them!

My daughter and I left chez Strachan senior an hour or so after dinner. Walking out with stomachs fit to burst the twinkling lights, baubles and tinsel gave my parents home an altogether more festive feel…… Although, personally I think my mum went a bit too far with her Christmas jumper decorations.

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