There is a saying that “A bad workman blames his tools”. I think of this as I get ever more vexed at the latency of this flaming laptop! I’m not sure why I’m taking it out on the laptop, as I could have the most performant pc or Mac in the world and I’d still be sat here with writers block!
Let it drop Gary! It’s your choice to persist utilising a slow computer with a now unsupported operating system, small memory and an ancient version of Word. Additionally, it was you who hindered the overall performance by setting off an iTunes upgrade just before starting to write!
Either get a more performant machine or shut the flip up! ……… Oh, and stop writing in the third person!
There is another famous saying of “Why the f**k are you wearing a Scooby Doo fancy dress costume?!” Well the simple answer to that is I’m sick of my daughter asking for a dog. As Karen and I are adverse to a new canine family member I’ve decided to compromise.
I realise I look a berk. However, a life peeing against trees, curling up in front of the tv watching Netflix and being spoken to nicely by my daughter are a refreshing change. I just need to get used to eating Mr Dog and Scooby snacks I think I may have cracked this being a canine malarkey!
I don’t think Rachel has cottoned onto my ruse yet, so I might get away with it! ……….. Well, as long as the game isn’t given away by those meddling kids Fred, Daphne, Thelma and Shaggy!
Rachel’s new dog
Of course the above is all fictional! Dressing as Scooby Doo to try trick my daughter into thinking she’s got a chuffing big dog would be a ridiculous thing to do! ……….. I’m dressed as Snoopy!
I think the section above tells you a lot about the places my mind wanders off to sometimes! As I’ve written in my blogs before, there can be a fine line between creativity and insanity. Hopefully, what I write fits in the former category not the latter.
What you will have also have learned is my inconsistency in the intensity of the adjectives I use. For example, above I’ve use the words flipping, f**king and chuffing as adjectives to add intensity to the description in the narrative.
Why the difference? Well, firstly I try to avoid the repetition of using the same adjectives. Secondly, I try to not swear in my blogs, however, there are times the words flipping or chuffing are not intense enough descriptively to purvey accurately my depth of feeling. Hence, the use of the f word that rhymes with duck above!
If anyone is offended by my language I apologise. If your not offended, thanks for being so f**king understanding and supportive!
I have an acquaintance, who will remain nameless, who describes men who are overly camp as acting ‘nancy fancy’. She doesn’t mean it in a homophobic or disparaging way at all, it’s just the descriptive term she uses to describe people who act that way. It has to be said, I’ve never known anyone else use this and am not sure where she got it from.
She most definitely isn’t homophobic and it isn’t a description she uses for all gay men! I’m talking about people like TV personality and actor Louis Spence who is so over the top with his campness it’s as though he’s acting it! …………. Which he potentially is!
The reason I bring it up is that I saw this video clip on Facebook the other day! I can confidently say this football referee would fit into the ‘nancy fancy’ category!