In the last couple of decades there’s been a growth in the number of double barrelled names in the UK. One of the reasons behind this change being a greater desire for newly weds to merge their surnames.

An example of this being when Jemma Shoe married Arnie Box in Lytham registry office in 2011 – The occasion when they decided to be henceforth addressed as Mr & Mrs Shoe-Box.

Additionally, in 2007 Iris Highly exchanged marriage vows with Dirk Strung at the then recently renovated Tonbridge Chapel, becoming Mr & Mrs Highly-Strung till death they do part.

Both changes easily accomodated which, should their offspring show any inclination into tracing the Shoe-Box or Highly-Strung family trees, should assist the genealogical venture.

Yesterday, though, shortly after randomly coughing up a fur ball, I pondered at what point does the amalgamation of surnames becomes excessive.

For instance, should Arnie & Jemma Shoe-Box’s daughter Megan meet and fall in love with Dirk & Iris Highly-Strung’s son Archie during a chance meeting in Aberystwyth, would a subsequent merging of their monikers take the process too far?

Is taking a quadruple barrelled surname upon matrimony best use of registrars ink, not to mention protecting offspring from avoiding unwanted playground attention?….. Simply put, would you really want your legacy to be subjecting your family to a life with the surname Highly-Strung-Shoe-Box?

I realise I’m completely overthinking this, but one can’t help envisaging problems should both affianced bear double-barrelled names, along with their parents desire to amalgamate surnames on betrothal.

Actually, there could be issues even if Megan Shoe-Box married someone with a single barrelled surname. For example, if Megan and Archie Highly-Strung’s relationship splintered, leading to her subsequent marriage with lecturer Colin Cardboard, Would she really want to embrace a moniker amalgam making her Mrs Cardboard-Shoe-Box?

Are you getting confused, or just plain bored with the double, triple and quadruple barrell name conundrums? Well, join the club. In fact I’m so disenfranchised with penning this nonsense, if anyone wants to finish writing this for me, please feel free.

If you’re interested, all I ask in return is to take the word count past 500 (my daily target) and provide me with 200 grams of gummy bear candy via UPS.

Maintaining the narrative’s topic of merging surnames isn’t essential. However, common sense needs to be adhered to when forming the prose. In particular, nothing too inflammatory, or illegal within it’s content; which’ll force me to edit those elements out.

While you conclude the blog for me, I’ll use the time to go wrap my Christmas cards, along with partaking in my new hobbies of scratching around the place, mulling things over and randomly advising strangers I meet to “Be careful what you wish for!!”

Oh, before I leave you to it, I’d forgotten to mention that yesterday my missus and me made a fleeting visit to the German Market in Leeds city centre. A German sausage and beer the comfort food/drink reward for completing four seperate hospital visits in a thirty hour window.

Seien Sie vorsichtig, was Sie sich wünschen!